Judith Harper Quotes (Page 3)
Season 2, Episode 13: "Zejdz z Moich Wlosów"
Charlie [regarding the tongs]: Ah, you better use the wooden ones.
Judith: What's wrong with these?
Charlie: I use those whenever I drop my watch in the toilet.
Judith: This is a regular occurrence?
Charlie: You'd think I'd learn.
Judith: And you keep them in the kitchen?
Charlie: I used to hang them on a little hook in the bathroom, but it freaked some chicks out
• Rating: Unrated
Season 2, Episode 7: "A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana"
Judith: Charlie, have you said derogatory things about me to Jake?
Charlie: No. Why? Do you want me to?
• Rating: 1.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 3: "A Bag Full of Jawea"
Judith [referring to Charlie]: Hold on, what is he doing here?
Alan: Well, my car's in the shop, and Charlie was nice enough to give me a ride.
Charlie: No, Charlie was nice enough to call you a cab, but you wouldn't take it
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 20: "Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark"
Alan: He's just a normal eleven-year-old kid who happens to be grumpy.
Judith: And I'm a normal thirty-five-year-old mother who happens to be running out of patience, and by "patience" I mean "Prozac"
• Rating: Unrated
Judith: He's been sullen and uncooperative for days. I think he needs to see someone.
Alan: What, you mean like a... like a shrink?
Judith: No, Alan, I mean like a blacksmith
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 19: "I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You"
Judith: Don't you think you've had enough to drink at the magic show, Evelyn?
Evelyn: Excuse me, darling, but some of us deal with our boredom and depression the old-fashioned, non-prescription way
• Rating: Unrated
Judith: It's an eleven-year-old's birthday party. You could've at least put on a bra.
Liz: Some of us don't need bras.
Judith: Some of us have had husbands and children.
Liz: Oh, I've had husbands
• Rating: Unrated
Judith: Oh, come on, Charlie. You know there was always sexual tension between us.
Charlie: Really? I thought it was just regular tension.
Judith: I saw you looking at my chest.
Alan: You looked at my ex-wife's chest??
Charlie: Hey, I'm a guy
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 16: "That Was Saliva, Alan"
Judith: Dad's having a colonoscopy and if I'm not there I'm going to have to watch the video
• Rating: Unrated
Season 1, Episode 10: "Merry Thanksgiving"
Alan: Look, I appreciate your feelings for me, but I have to tell you, I really think your daughter deserves a lot of respect. I mean, it takes real courage to make changes in your life and not worry what everybody thinks.
Judith: Thank you, Alan.
Evelyn: That's true. The lesbians of my generation where to scared to come out of the closet.
Lenore: Does that mean what I think it means?
Alan: You haven't told them?
Judith: No. I thought it would be more appropriate coming from your mother.
Evelyn: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I faux pas?
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 31