Jules: She's so young she may actually be from the future.
Ellie: Does her dad work on the moon?

I'm gonna otter the hell out of you.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

Josh: What's that scar from?
Jules: I got knifed as a kid
Josh: Really?
Jules: No, that's from my c-section!

Ellie: Imaginary hat!
Jules: Imaginary hook hands! I don't know what we're doing.

Travis: You know, I've actually been experimenting at school.
Ellie: I totally called that!
Jules: What's his name? Is he cute?
Travis: I meant with religion.
Jules: Aw man, I was excited to show you how cool I'd be about it.

Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.

Jules: Sweetie, this should be the gang.
Ellie: It totally should.

Bobby: How do you say R U I N?
Jules: Roin?

Jules: To get ahead. Get a home!
Bobby: Worst slogan ever.

Jules: We all have our embarrassing family members.
Bobby [walks in]: Hello! That wasn't a coincidence, I was out back waiting for an entrance line.

Ellie: We are not friends, human beings cannot be friends with chimps
Bobby: Sure they can. My buddy Daryl was best friends with his chimp, Binky.
Jules: It's true. Until Binky turned six and then he get angry one day and ripped of Daryl's arm.
Bobby: They're still friends, they're just not best friends.

Cougar Town Quotes

Jules: You see that young gentleman there, I'd love to lick his body
Woman: That's my son
Jules: Ooh, he looks smart

Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.