Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

Jules: She's so young she may actually be from the future.
Ellie: Does her dad work on the moon?

I'm gonna otter the hell out of you.

Travis: You know, I've actually been experimenting at school.
Ellie: I totally called that!
Jules: What's his name? Is he cute?
Travis: I meant with religion.
Jules: Aw man, I was excited to show you how cool I'd be about it.

Ellie: Imaginary hat!
Jules: Imaginary hook hands! I don't know what we're doing.

Jules: Sweetie, this should be the gang.
Ellie: It totally should.

Bobby: How do you say R U I N?
Jules: Roin?

Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.

Jules: To get ahead. Get a home!
Bobby: Worst slogan ever.

Josh: What's that scar from?
Jules: I got knifed as a kid
Josh: Really?
Jules: No, that's from my c-section!

Ellie: We are not friends, human beings cannot be friends with chimps
Bobby: Sure they can. My buddy Daryl was best friends with his chimp, Binky.
Jules: It's true. Until Binky turned six and then he get angry one day and ripped of Daryl's arm.
Bobby: They're still friends, they're just not best friends.

Grayson: When women get older, it's icky. When men get older, it's adorable. It's my favorite double standard.
Jules: Yeah, I'm not a huge fan.

Cougar Town Quotes

Welcome to Cougar Town. Your name isn't that great either.

Title Card

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.