Jules: Name one thing I've done to Travis that is "meddlesome."
Bobby: Watched him sleep.
Ellie: You scared his girlfriend away.
Laurie: You want to live in his blood.

Travis: Mom, people from Taiwan are really called Taiwanese.
Jules: Agree to disagree.

Are you two dummies out in the yard again playing human Whac-A-Mole?

(to Grayson) I just want you to be a little different with me than with everyone else.

Oh my. To see Grayson cry would be like seeing....a double-rainbow.

See you soon. Stupid Circle of Anger.

I love Valentine's day. I don't care if I get flowers or deer skin.

Circle of love. Feel it in your hearts..

You know, when you put love out in the world, it always comes back to you.

Jules: The more the merrier. So we'll ask Tom to play.
Tom: Oh I'd love to!
Jules: Way to keep it weird, Tom.

Jules: Why me? Why do you want to torture me with your filthy stories?
Barb: You used to be one of us. Stalking young prey without mercy or shame.
Jules: When are people going to understand that's not me anymore. What do I have to do? Change my name.
Barb: You'll be back. The filth is strong in you.

Jules: Ellie, friend test.
Ellie: Fine, I'll come.
Bobby: Friend test?
Jules: Yeah. It's when you call your entire friendship into question and force them into doing something. I came up with it.
Trav: Sounds like you.

Cougar Town Quotes

Jules: You see that young gentleman there, I'd love to lick his body
Woman: That's my son
Jules: Ooh, he looks smart

Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.