Jules: Name one thing I've done to Travis that is "meddlesome."
Bobby: Watched him sleep.
Ellie: You scared his girlfriend away.
Laurie: You want to live in his blood.

Travis: Mom, people from Taiwan are really called Taiwanese.
Jules: Agree to disagree.

Are you two dummies out in the yard again playing human Whac-A-Mole?

(to Grayson) I just want you to be a little different with me than with everyone else.

Oh my. To see Grayson cry would be like seeing....a double-rainbow.

See you soon. Stupid Circle of Anger.

I love Valentine's day. I don't care if I get flowers or deer skin.

Circle of love. Feel it in your hearts..

You know, when you put love out in the world, it always comes back to you.

Jules: The more the merrier. So we'll ask Tom to play.
Tom: Oh I'd love to!
Jules: Way to keep it weird, Tom.

Jules: Why me? Why do you want to torture me with your filthy stories?
Barb: You used to be one of us. Stalking young prey without mercy or shame.
Jules: When are people going to understand that's not me anymore. What do I have to do? Change my name.
Barb: You'll be back. The filth is strong in you.

Jules: Ellie, friend test.
Ellie: Fine, I'll come.
Bobby: Friend test?
Jules: Yeah. It's when you call your entire friendship into question and force them into doing something. I came up with it.
Trav: Sounds like you.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Did you finally get a visit from the nutsack fairy?

Ellie