(to Grayson) I'm going to be happy with whatever you get me. As long as it's perfect and it shows how much you get me.

Jules: Grayson, do you ever think of your ex wife when you are having sex with me?
Grayson: Thanks Ellie.

Ellie: So Jules, what are we doing?
Jules: Besides cake and wine, I got nothing.

Jules: Hi Barb, what are you a shredded wheat?
Barb: Hah. No. I'm a haystack. Hey fellas, who wants to roll around in the hay!?

(to creepy Panda guy) You get some Ling Ling!

Oh my God, I was mean to my daddy.

Dad, I missed you. How've you been?

I hate dressing up. Not for nothing, but I'm not doing it yall.

Chick: Ding a ling a ling...
Jules: That's my cue since I was four. I had to use both my hands.
Laurie: Awe how cute.

Jules: Ellie Torres, I'm fixing to get mad at you.
Ellie: Really, are you fixing?
Jules: Damn it.

I hate Halloween.

Titles Are Hard - Cougar Town.