Julie Mayer Quotes
Season 8, Episode 19: "With So Little to Be Sure Of"
Julie: This baby's working on her black belt.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 23: "Getting Married Today"
Minister: Are we ready?
Julie: (about Susan and Mike) Are you kidding? They've been dragging this thing out for three years!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 20: "Gossip"
Julie: (To Susan, hiding behind the door) You want something bitchier, then do it yourself.
• Rating: Unrated
Julie: There are only two guys in this world who know all your flaws and have still found a way to love you. You're just gonna toss them both away?
Susan: Yes. I don't need a man. I don't even need sex. I went without it the first sixteen years (Julie gives her a look)twenty-two years of my life, and I can go a few more.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 16: "My Husband, the Pig"
Austin: You won't return my calls.
Julie: Well, I've been busy. Plus, my mom caught you naked on top of my friend!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 14: "I Remember That"
Susan is picking out a dress to wear to Jane's funeral.
Susan: It's not about me, this is about Jane and Ian. What if I wore this one?
Julie: Then it'll be about Jane, Ian and your boobs.
Susan: I have got to get more depressing clothes.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 12: "Not While I'm Around"
Susan: (tense) Why were you two talking about condoms?
Julie: Why were you eavesdropping?
Susan: Don't change the subject. Are you two having sex? Because I thought I raised you to be smarter than that. (more tense): Don't you realize that sex is not fun and games? It's dangerous!! Every time you turn around there's a new disease! Do you want it to burn when you pee?
Julie: Mom.
Susan: Sex kills!
Julie: MOM!!!
Susan: WHAT?!!
Julie: I'm not having sex.
Susan: Really?
Julie: Really.
Susan: (Relieved) Oh, thank god.
(They hug)
Susan: If you're not having sex, why were you talking about condoms?
• Rating: Unrated
(Julie and Austin are talking about having sex, Susan walks in and they stop)
Susan: Hi!
Austin: Hi.
(Awkward silence)
Susan: Bye!
Austin & Julie: (Smiling) Bye.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 11: "No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds"
Danielle: You hold on to your virginity. If Austin won't wait then he doesn't deserve you.
Julie: I just don't want to lose him.
Danielle: It's better than losing your self respect. Take it from a girl who's known at school as 'Little Miss Van De Tramp'.
Julie: I thought you made that up?
Danielle: Only because it was nicer than the other names they were calling me.
• Rating: Unrated
Susan: I'm out of lipstick. Can I borrow yours?
Julie: Sure. (hands her her lipstick)
Susan: Cherry berry?
Julie: Austin likes the way it tastes.
Susan: Oh, I so did not need to know that.
• Rating: Unrated
Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!
Total Quotes: 17
