Andy: We're losing cloud cover.
Kelly: Oh don't try to get in on it now, Michael Vick.
Darryl: Hey, hey...Vick did his time.

Kelly: Well I manage my department, and I've been doing that for several years now, and God I've learned a lot of life lessons along the way.
Jim: Your department's just you right?
Kelly: Yes Jim, but I am not easy to manage.

Kelly: No, he's just a big fraud Deangelo. He's like Rango. He doesn't work here basically, just like the way Rango didn't save those animals. It was just a big misunderstanding.
Deangelo: Is this true Ryan?
Ryan: I did not see Rango.

Ryan: This isn't the U.S. government.
Kelly: What are you referencing?
Ryan: Everything... everything.

Who am I? I'm Kelly Kapoor, the business bitch.

I can't get anything lately unless I threaten to kill myself.

Ryan: For all their generosity of spirit, they password protect their wireless?
Kelly: Try Jesus.

Could you for once just let us enjoy a party instead of making it about all your issues?

I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out.

I probably tweeted it. I tweet, I text, I phone, I Skype ...

[on the phone] This is the second time that you've sent me the wrong size. I mean I know what a four should feel like I've been a four my whole life. You know what? You can go to hell, alright? Thanks for nothing.

Kelly: Can you stop micro-managing? I know how to do this.
Dwight: What are you guys doing?
Kelly: This girl was really rude to me at the mall, so I created a fake IM account from a hot guy at her high school, and now I'm trying to make her anorexic.
Ryan: Tell her everyone in homeroom thinks she's fat.
Kelly: That is so good.

The Office Quotes

Pam: So I closed the door but the image of his...
Jim: Baquette.
Pam: ... dangling participle...
Jim: Eww.
Pam: ... still burned in my eyes.
Jim: I can imagine.

Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News. One was Tracy Chapman, Fast Car. And my personal favorite, Short People.

Darryl