Sundays 10:30 PM on HBO
Eastbound-and-down

A goddamn Mexican standoff in f*ckin' Mexico. I was hoping to get into one of these before I left.

That sweet tailpipe of yours did have me charmed. It put a spell on me, but all the ass magic in Mexico can't change Kenny Powers from his core beliefs. I'm not an ass man. I'm a tit man. I like big ass boobs - now, and forever. I'm not like a black guy, Vida.

Too hot for hugs here, man. I've been battlin' a war with swamp ass since I got down here.

I brought you guys up from less than f*ckin' nothin', and took you up to a championship level, only to abandon you there... leave you high and dry, naked and nude, prey, easy targets for the competitions, to rape and buttf*ck you. I'm sorry for that.

Let's face it guys, after midnight, this whole f*cking place turns into a pumpkin, and you guys all turn back into mice. This is a classic Cinderella tale here. You know, Peter Pan will no longer be a man, he'll turn into a real boy. George Washington will never be able to cut down the beanstalk. You guys will eventually just go back to bein' the sh*ttiest Mexican baseball team in Mexico.

Purity - it's what we all desire, and it is what I've come here to share with you. Hence the all whites.

We can do some f*cking great things tonight, you guys. Follow me. Walk with me out on to that field. And when you do, you will f*cking put your ass out, and you raise your f*cking head up. Know that you'll never, ever... ever reach the heights that you're gonna reach tonight. But you can leave here knowing that you helped Kenny Powers' dreams come tru... For a bunch of Mexican baseball players, that ain't too bad.

Chapter 17. Done, and f*ckin' done. Just like that, the journey is over... depression is finished, and you're on your way back to the world of the living, smiling, regular people... The road has been paved with d*ckheads, backstabbers, and pains in the f*ckin' ass... but memories were made, allies were had, pole smokers were toppled, and the truth was discovered.

I paid cash for the motherf*cker. Bought it with an advance that I was paid for this, uh... self help novel I'm about to have published onto the Oprah's book clubs... Pretty much saved all my pennies from my major league days. Invested a lot of it very wisely in stocks, bonds, famous works of arts.

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