The Office

Kevin Malone Quotes (Page 19)

Michael: You know what the best medicine is?
Kevin: The doctor said a combination of Interferon and Dacarbazine.
Michael: And laughter.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: Abby's my fiancée Stacey's daughter. I think she'll have a good time. I just hope she doesn't look in my computer... actually, I better go check. (runs off)
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: I bet Roy heard about you liking Pam. I bet he'll try to beat you up.
Jim: Thanks for the heads up, Kev.
Kevin: I got your back if he does. [pauses] But try to stay out of it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: Let me out Michael, I can't hold my breath that long.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: Can you hop?
Michael: I tried hopping, Kevin. I bumped my elbow against the wall and now my elbow has a protuberance.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kevin: I got myself in secret santa. I was supposed to tell somebody... but I didn't.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phyllis: Everyone, this is my boyfriend Bob.
Kevin: Kevin Malone.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Stanley: Stanley Hudson.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan: Ryan Howard.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan: What line of work you in, Bob?
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: I'm gonna have to delete a lot of stuff. [pause] A LOT of stuff.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: I'd just like to say that, my Mom's coming in today.
Kevin: Mmmmilf.
Pam: Thanks Kevin.
 • Rating: Unrated

Roy: Well, what is your type?
Jim: ... Moms, primarily. Yup. Soccer moms. Single moms. Nascar moms. Any type of mom really.
Kevin: Stay away from my mom...
Jim: Too late, Kev.
 • Rating: Unrated

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