Kevin: Michael, here's the, uh, $15 I owe you.
Michael: Oh, thank you.
Kevin: Yeah. I heard you might need it. So...
Creed: Here's the $40 you gave me.
Michael: I didn't give you $40.
Creed: In a way you did.

Kevin: Who makes it?
Michael: Uh, MISSterious. And it is mysterious because the buttons are on the wrong side... that's the mystery.
Phyllis: Look, it's got shoulder pads, and did you see that lining?
Michael: Okay.
Phyllis: Did you see...
Michael: Would you stop it, please?
Jim: So, none of that tipped you off?
Michael: It's European, OK? It's a European cut.
Pam: Michael, the pants don't have any pockets.

Michael: I do not buy woman's clothes. I would not make that mistake again.
Darryl: I'ma call Roy, man.
Michael: Ohh... kay.
Darryl: This is gonna make him feel better.
Michael: All right.
Darryl: This is too good.
Michael: Alright, you know what? Pam, could you please tell Darryl that this is not a woman's suit?
Pam: Oh my God, that's a woman's suit!
Kevin: You're wearing a woman's suit?
Michael: No, I do, I, I wear men's suits, OK? I got this out of a bin.

Pam: Oh, that duck is so cute.
Kevin: Hey Pam.
Pam: Hey guys.
Kevin: Oscar. Angela.

Michael: Oh hey, Kevin, nice of you to join us, where were you?
Kevin: My tire blew out on the way here, Michael.
Michael: Huh?
Kevin: I almost died. I... I went into this skid...
Michael: Pop quiz.
Kevin: ...What?
Michael: Why is today a special day?
Kevin: I almost died.
Michael: Today's a special day, because I am being honored as a... visiting... professor, special lecturer, emeritus... how did you, how did you...
Ryan: You will be a guest speaker... in my Emerging Enterprises class.
Michael: In business school, Kevin. Business school.
Kevin: Wow.

Attention, everyone. Attention, please. I am supposed to ask if anyone has seen Uncle Al. He is old and has brown eyes and dementia. His family is very concerned. It is a very serious situation. [sings] Roxxxxxxxanne. You don't have to put on your red light....

No this is not our first wedding. This is the THIRD wedding that Scrantonicity has played. We also played our bassist's wedding ... and our guitarist's wedding.

Oscar: Hey, everyone.
Kevin: Oh, hello, Oscar. How was your GAY-cation?
Oscar: Oh, that's very funny.
Kevin: Yeah? I thought of it like, two seconds after you left!

Kevin: Angela.
Angela: What?
Kevin: That was a voicemail that corporate left last night. They did not get our tax forms. Did you send them?
Angela: They arrived this morning.
Kevin: Are you sure? It is a big deal.
Angela: Is it a big deal? Is it Kevin?
Kevin: ... Do you really not know? Because it is a big deal.

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