Andy, I'm not Jim. The only way that I'm Jim is in the movie version when Jim sees what his future would be like if he never met Pam.

Holly: You guys, it wasn't my fault!
Kevin: Oh nothing is ever your fault! Just like when you ate those maple candies that you brought for us!

Andy: I bet he's wishing he had a hybrid, right? 60 miles to the gallon in the city.
Kevin: No, I bet he's wishing he was strangling somebody.

Kevin: Everyone is gonna be there. Angela, Phyllis... even Creed is a maybe.
Andy: Creed is going?!?

Oscar: What kind of statement are you making with that costume, Kevin?
Kevin: The statement that I'm making, Oscar, is I kind of look like Michael Moore.

Kevin: He's like a better looking Andy.
Andy: Thanks Kevin.

Andy: Can anyone else name a consequence of sex?
Kevin: It feels unbelievable.

C is for Suspension!

Gabe: This is violent and offensive.
Kevin: Thank you. It really makes me self-conscious about my voice.
Gabe: It's awful [offers a tissue]
Kevin: I'm not crying.
Gabe: There's food on your face.

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