Michael: Oh hey, Kevin, nice of you to join us, where were you?Kevin: My tire blew out on the way here, Michael.
Michael: Huh?
Kevin: I almost died. I... I went into this skid...
Michael: Pop quiz.
Kevin: ...What?
Michael: Why is today a special day?
Kevin: I almost died.
Michael: Today's a special day, because I am being honored as a... visiting... professor, special lecturer, emeritus... how did you, how did you...
Ryan: You will be a guest speaker... in my Emerging Enterprises class.
Michael: In business school, Kevin. Business school.
Kevin: Wow.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kevin: Attention, everyone. Attention, please. I am supposed to ask if anyone has seen Uncle Al. He is old and has brown eyes and dementia. His family is very concerned. It is a very serious situation. [sings] Roxxxxxxxanne. You don't have to put on your red light....
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kevin: No this is not our first wedding. This is the THIRD wedding that Scrantonicity has played. We also played our bassist's wedding ... and our guitarist's wedding.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Oscar: Hey, everyone.
Kevin: Oh, hello, Oscar. How was your GAY-cation?
Oscar: Oh, that's very funny.
Kevin: Yeah? I thought of it like, two seconds after you left!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kevin: Angela.
Angela: What?
Kevin: That was a voicemail that corporate left last night. They did not get our tax forms. Did you send them?
Angela: They arrived this morning.
Kevin: Are you sure? It is a big deal.
Angela: Is it a big deal? Is it Kevin?
Kevin: ... Do you really not know? Because it is a big deal.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: Yikes.
Kevin: Already sent it to you my friend.
Jim: Fantastic.
Andy: Boring. Call me if she rolls over.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kevin: I hear Angela's party will have double fudge brownies. But it will also have Angela.
• Show: The Office • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Kevin: I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for, because... [whispers] it sounds an awful lot like what I do here... Every. Day.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Carol: [wearing cheerleader outfit] I thought you said this was a costume party!
Michael: [pointing out a woman] What does that look like to you?
Carol: An Indian woman in a sari!
Michael: No one's even going to notice.
Kevin: Nice outfit.
Michael: Hey, Kevin! It's a costume, so why don't you just cool it, okay?
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Phyllis: Isn't this fun? Not wearing shoes?
Angela: I wish some of us still had our shoes on.
Kevin: Stop it! It's a disease! I told you!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 126
