Oscar: Two?Kevin: (holding ice creams) I didn't eat lunch.
Oscar: (stares)
Kevin: I didn't eat ALL my lunch.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Red Cross woman: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?
Michael: No, Rose, they are not breathing. And, they have no arms or legs.
Red Cross woman: No that's not part of it.
Michael: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we both resuscitating them? I mean what kind of quality of life do we have there?
Kevin: I would wanna live with no legs.
Michael: How 'bout no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Kevin, you don't do anything.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kevin: I can't keep doing this forever.
Red Cross woman: It's been 20 seconds.
[Kevin continues for a few seconds, then stops and walks off]
Kevin: Call it.
• Show: The Office • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Andy: Okay, it is time for the final votes. All of those in favor of resolution Hillary Swank is hot? [half of office raises hands] Okay. And all those opposed? [other half of office raises hands]
Kevin: This is ridiculous.
Oscar: That's the thing about debating, you're just going to get people more entrenched in the view they had in the first place.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: Ladies, are we prepared to let the Kevins of the world decide anything for us? Anything at all? We don't even give him full internet access.
Kevin: Wait, what?
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Kevin: Ladies and gentlemen, even though the penis was fake, I was expecting a second plot twist where we found out Hilary Swank was a boy.
Pam: Kevin!
Angela: Okay, I wasn't going to dignify this discussion by getting involved, but I don't even get the discussion, hot is a temperature people. But Kevin deserves to lose for what he said, so, yes, she's hot, she's hot as heck, she's a female Boris Becker.
Jim: OH!
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Jim: Kevin, you know what, why don't you close your eyes? Imagine that Hilary Swank comes into this office for real and she walks over to you and says "Kevin Malone, I just read your online profile and there is nothing I would rather do then make out with you right now." And now you tell me something, is she hot? Does that end the debate?
Kevin: No, it's is she hot, not would you do her. Respect the game.
Angela: Oh my God.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: I think all of us have a tendency to view celebrities as sort of mythical figures, you know? We don't really see them as real so therefore we don't judge them as real people.
Kevin: Are you serious? Jim, just show us a picture.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Andy: Each side will have three minutes to prepare opening arguments. Topic: Hillary Swank is attractive.
Entire office: Hot!
Kevin: The debate is whether she is hot.
Stanley: What difference does it make? Attractive, beautiful, hot, we're talking about the same thing here.
Kevin: Huge difference. A painting can be beautiful, but I don't want to bang a painting.
Andy: Okay, TMI.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Meredith: She's got mean eyes.
Pam: Have you seen her with her bangs?
Kevin: She looks like a monster.
Jim: Guys, she is a beautiful movie star, so maybe we should just go to work.
Meredith: She is an amazing actress.
Kevin: That is not the question.
Phyllis: She's not hot.
Kevin: Yeah, thank you Phyllis.
Jim: Okay, okay, okay. Why don't we just put this to a vote, and then we'll be done with it.
Angela: I'm not voting.
Jim: No one cares.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 126
