Oscar: It's 4:10, I don't think he's gonna show.Kevin: Oh come on, man! Believe in something.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Angela: Kevin, you screwed this form up again. The amount owed goes at the top.
Kevin: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing something wrong. If I had, I would've admitted it, and stopped right away.
Angela: That's enough.
Kevin: Because I wouldn't want an innocent person, who doesn't know anything about the form... What?
Oscar: That was good. It's just ... at the end you weren't saying something that could also apply to the form.
Kevin: How about, "I'm sorry I did such a whorish job filling out this form?"
Oscar: There you go.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pam: Quick announcement: new year, new candy.
Kevin: Whoo-hoo!
Pam: Okay, be careful, Kevin. They're kind of spicy.
Kevin: Hot tamales.
Pam: Yeah.
Kevin: Uh oh.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Okay, how do you feel?
Meredith: A little better. I threw up.
Michael: Ick... TMI.
Kevin: Fire girl! [crickets] Too soon?
Jim: Yeah.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Okay.
Kevin: Michael, I got you a hot chocolate. I hope that's okay.
Michael: Oh, thank you my dear.
Kelly: Wait, Michael! Let me open the door for you.
Michael: Oh, well, chivalry is not dead after all. Okay...
Stanley: There he is!
Michael: There he is! Hello, hello!
Phyllis: Hello.
Michael: Hello! Good to see you! Good to see you.
Jim: Oh!
Michael: Mm! [gives Jim a high five] Yeah!
Pam: There's that ass!
Michael: Hey hey! Yeah! Unh!
Pam: Woo! Yeah. Aw, don't take it away!
Michael: Oh... ah, I almost choked.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kevin: So Jim, you're gonna live in the same house that you used to pee the bed in?
Jim: Yeah, I guess technically Kev, you're right.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Angela: Are you swallowing them whole? You're eating them so fast, are they even touching your tongue?
Kevin: Yes.
Dwight: Brownies is it? Hm. Pastry cubes made of sugar and fat? No thank you, I'll stick with my jerky.
Jim: So why did you come in here?
Dwight: To socialize. And inform.
• Show: The Office • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Oscar: [to Creed, dressed as the Joker] Whoa! Awesome.
Creed: Let's put a smile on that face!
Kevin: [also dressed as the Joker] Dammit Creed! I've been up since four!
• Show: The Office • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Angela: Yes, that's correct. I need to cancel checks from 10,001 to 90,000.
Oscar: Great, they stole my laptop.
Kevin: Yeah, well, they stole my surge protector.
Oscar: How does that even compare?
Kevin: Oscar, I'm now going to be prone to surges.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Phyllis: Hey, I'm collecting for the baby shower.
Kevin: But Phyllis, it's not his baby.
Phyllis: I know, Kevin.
Oscar: Why do we have to pay money to get a gift for his ex-girlfriend's unborn sperm bank baby?
Phyllis: Look at it as if you're paying for the cake, not the baby. Sheet cake.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 126
