Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer

Gillette: Yes, I piss and shit in a bag.
Krieger: Me too!

First of all, it's Dr. I'll Solve Your Ant Problem.

Give it time. This isn't the Flintstones. We can't just wang him in the head with a frying pan!

Ray: Ooh! Here's an idea. Why don't you just saw your God damned head off?
Cyril: Geez. What's up your butt?
Ray: Nothing is up my butt, Cyril. Oh, or maybe there is. I wouldn't know because I'm paralyzed from the waist down and it's Archer's fault!
Krieger: Uh, gettin' some mileage out of that, huh?

Krieger: I needed help disseminating him.
Cheryl: Eww!
Pam: Not what it means.
Lana: Still pretty gross though.

Krieger: Coffee just like I like my women: black, bitter and preferably fair trade.

Krieger: Press that red button.
Archer: Is it going to kill everyone?
Krieger: Press that blue button.

Archer: Why the hell are you crying?
Krieger: That was my van.

Pam: Zing! ... Wildly inappropriate.
Krieger: Seriously, Pam.
Pam: Okay, clone wars.
Krieger: Zing.

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