Krusty the Klown Quotes
Lisa: You could do what Everybody Loves Raymond did.
Krusty: Go off the air while I'm still good? That horse has left the stable, gone to the glue factory and has been used to make art projects.
They were kids, and we gave them candy if they laughed! And if they didn't, until the 70s, I hit them with a stick! Some jerk tracked down the kids and made a documentary. It's called "Circus of Shame" or something.
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They took my dressing room, my parking space, even my writer, so I don't have a funny third item.
- Permalink: They took my dressing room, my parking space, even my writer, so...
And all the movies are over a year old. It's like those parodies were written when the movies came out, but it took so long to animate them that we look dated and hackey.
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Why can't i be funny with just my words? Bill Maher doesn't put dangerous things near his crotch. Except when he's off work.
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Krustyland has a new ride, the Eyeballs of Death. It only passed the safety by a 3 to 2 vote. And that third vote didn't come cheap.
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Krusty: Kids, it's finally happening: your own primetime special. The songs will be written by Broadway's greatest composer: this guy. What's your name again, Fuzzface?
Stephen Sondheim: Stephen Sondheim. I know you hear this all the time, but I think you're great.
Krusty: And I'm sure you hear this all the time: you cost an arm and a leg, so let's get to work.
Stephen Sondheim: Here's the opening number.
Krusty: (taking the sheets) Complex harmoniesintricate lyricspithy observations on modern life. What is this junk? Where's the zazz? Just do what you did in "Cats."
Stephen Sondheim: I didn't write "Cats."
Krusty: You didn't?!
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Yokel child: Hey, you're one of those funny people with a big, crazy nose!
Krusty: A clown?
Yokel child: No, a j--
Krusty: Joker! That's right. And I'm not a practicing Joker so I'm not that offended.
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Homer gave me a kidney, it wasn't his, I didn't need it and it came postage due, but still a lovely gesture.
- Permalink: Homer gave me a kidney, it wasn't his, I didn't need it and it c...