The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXKrusty the Klown Quotes
Homer gave me a kidney, it wasn't his, I didn't need it and it came postage due, but still a lovely gesture.
Hey, I do more than TV! I had a one-man show on Broadway. That's who showed up, one man. (laughs) Long story short, I won a Drama Desk Award.
(to Lisa) I'm gonna call you the goy wonder . . . 'cause I don't remember your name.
A great man once observed, "90 percent of success is showing up on time." Sorry I'm four hours late.
Speaking of necks, my girlfriend is a pain in mine. She crashed her car into mine and said, "Look, honey, we have a hybrid."
Farewell, Sideshow Bob
Krusty
Your shoes are empty and the stage is dark.
Bart stole your nitroglycerin
And then your heart, it barked.
And it seems to me your loyal fans
Oughta buy this DVD
(Holds up a Best of Sideshow Bob DVD.)
Of all your best-loved sketches
On The Krusty Show.
It's full of extra features
And deleted scenes.
Like when you fell and split your pants
And we saw your "Frank and Beans."
(A local Krusty Burger is closed down.)
Krusty: (Sobbing) I can't believe the Labor Board is shutting me down.
Labor Board Official: You lock your workers in at night!
Krusty: It's so they can't tell their stories!
If Jews control the media, why can't I get on Jimmy Kimmel?
Kid, this company's bust. For years I've been giving away free toys and getting cookies in return. It's not a sustainable business model.
I'm sure in the 25 years of Earth time you've been gone, your parents have been worried.
Mousy and Catsy! Aren't they great?
It's not what you think. I'm researching for a movie where I play myself.
