My most guilty pleasure of late, my boyfriend arm. I ordered it one night while on Ambien.

Rachel: I'm pretty sure she just stole my comforter.
Kurt: Bitch took my pillow.

[to Santana] We just got off the phone with Brody. Did you confront him at NYADA with a Paula Abdul song?

[to Adam] I always get a little sad when the sun comes out and the snow starts to melt and all the snowmen look like they have scoliosis.

[to Blaine] Tell me that's not Tina again!

Blaine: This is just bros helping bros.
Kurt: I love it when you talk fratty.

You are a diva. And you have been a nightmare. But you're not a diva because you're a nightmare. You're a diva because you're talented, and ambitious, and because no one else in the world can do what you, Rachel Berry, can do. That's what being a diva's all about. Being an original. One of a kind. So hold the nightmare, but bring the diva.

[to Rachel] I don't get it. A year ago you were all plaid skirts and 'do you think Finn likes me?' And now you're Slutty Barbie asking Misogynist Ken to move in with you and doing pornos. What happened to you?

Kurt: Rachel is a serious actress, Brody. She doesn't do nudity.
Brody: As performers, that's a question that we're all gonna have to face. If you want to win an Oscar, you have to show your boobs. Kate Winslet, Jennifer Connolly, Kathy Bates.

[to Rachel] Your boyfriend's bare ass is on one of my vintage flea market chairs.

Rachel: I like him, and I'm tired of second-guessing something that feels so right.
Kurt: Mmhmm. Well, as long as you're happy and I have a white noise machine, I guess I'm happy too.

My first week at NYADA and the most surprising thing about college is it's just like high school. It's all about the cliques. The stage combat majors are the jocks. The classical acting majors are the preps. The ballerinas are the mean girls. And if they're at the top of the social pyramid, then once again I'm at the bottom.

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.