Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South-park

Kyle: Kenny ate all the mints, dad.
Gerald: Oh, those weren't mints, those were antacid tablets.
Kyle: oh...
Kyle & Stan: KENNY!
(Kenny drinks water then explodes)

(to Kenny, who's eating a bowl of mints)
Kyle: Look, Kenny, I know your family's poor, but you cant just eat a bowl of mints for dinner...
Kenny: (Muffled) Well, f**k you.(Flips Kyle off)

Kyle: Cartman doesn't always win. He just gets pissed off and goes home, so we can't debate anymore.
Class: Yeah!
Cartman: Nuh-uh, I'm just a better debater than you guys.
Stan: You don't even know what you're debating about half the time!
Cartman: Yes I do!
Craig: No, you don't!
Cartman: OH YEAH?!! WELL SCREW YOU GUYS! I'M GOING HOME!
Kyle: Told you.

All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.

(Stan and Kyle are at Cartman's house convincing Cartman to donate one of his kidney's to Kyle)
Stan: Dude, one of your friends are gonna die! Don't you see how serious this is?
Kenny(muffles): It's not that f**king serious!
Kyle: Coughs twice
Cartman: Well, perhaps I can see a way for giving up kidney for a price!
Stan: Oh my god!
Kyle: How much?
Cartman: I don't know, how much is your life worth to you, Kyle?
Stan: Cartman, you are SO going to hell when you die!
Cartman: Yes, well until then. I need about $10 million dollars.
Kenny(muffles): $10 MILLION DOLLARS?!?!?
Stan: What the hell will you do with $10 million dollars, fat ass?
Cartman: What I attend to do with the money isn't an issue is it? I suggest you start looking for that money quickly, Kyle doesn't seem have much time. Tick Tock Tick Tock.
Stan: C'mon Kyle! Let's get out of here!
Cartman: Ok, where were we Kenny? Oh yeah! Quick, Captain, we must destroy the engine of agent 5! Give me the space cruiser!
Cartman starts to grab the Space Cruiser out of Kenny's hands. Kenny starts to tug it back to him
Cartman: Give it Kenny meeh!

Stan: We don't wana go to some stupid adult meeting any way!
Cartman: Well that's nice, cause you can't go!
Kyle: We don't wanna go!
Cartman: You CAN'T go!
Kyle: We don't WANNA go!
Cartman: No, you can't go!

Stan: Yeah, you know, we believe in equality for everybody and tolerance and all that gay stuff, but dude, (beep) you.
Kyle: Seriously.

Stan: This is boring.
Kyle: Yeah. (to the Head NAMBLA member) HEY, WHEN ARE WE GONNA GET INTO SOME ACTION, HUH?!
(All the NAMBLA members 'ooh')
Head NAMBLA member: Oh, goodness! What a gift from God!

Kyle: Alright Cartman, I'm gonna give you a jail time card. You lose a turn.
Stan: Sweet.
Cartman: Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna give you AIDS.
Kyle: What?
Cartman: I just gave you AIDS.
Kyle: AIDS?
Stan: Dude, that's not cool. Don't give Kyle AIDS.
Cartman: (writing) Kyle has AIDS and now loses 47 turns and 800 points.

Kyle: Dude how long does this thing last?
Stan: Two hours.
(the boys groan)

Stan: Dude, this isn't working.
Kyle: It's Kenny's singing!
Cartman: Yeah, Kenny, you have to sing better!
Kenny: (I'm singing as good as I can!)
Stan: Well, it's not good enough, Kenny! You have to get better! Try it again!
Grandpa: Aha, I knew it. They turned you into poofders.

Kyle: Those contorting Romanian chicks rule.
Cartman: Yeah, especially that second one from the left. She was fine!
Kyle: Cartman, what the hell are you talking about?! They're identical!
Cartman: Not that second one from the left, she had it goin' on!

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 322 in total

South Park Quotes

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman
x Close Ad