South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralKyle Broflovski Quotes
Cartman: Don't be jealous guys! This doesn't mean we can't still hang out. It just means I've matured faster than you. You'll get your pubes guys, someday.
Kyle: Cartman you don't buy pubes, you grow them yourself!
Cartman: What?!
Stan: Kyle, you can't kill yourself!
Kyle: [in bubble] I don't want to kill myself. They rigged this thing to fill with water!
[all the boys, except Cartman, look the same with the same clothes and no hair]
Stan: Kyle, I'm starting to think that this is a really bad idea.
Butters: I'm not Kyle, I'm Butters. I thought you were Kyle.
Stan: No, I'm Stan.
Kyle: You're Stan? Where's Kenny?
Stan: Who are you?
Kyle: I'm Kyle.
Cartman: Hehe, guess who I am, guys?
Cartman: Alright Brother Kyle, it is time for us to die.
Kyle: Cartman we've been brain washed don't you see? We don't have to do this!
Cartman: But it's the only way for us to be happy.
Kyle: Cartman, no!
Kyle: (whispering) Cartman. Cartman, wake up. Cartman.
Cartman: (wakes up abruptly, knocking Kyle off his bed) No, Paula Poundstone! Leave me alone! Uh! Uh?
Kyle: It's just me.
Cartman: (Cartman realizes he's at the camp with Kyle and sighs) Brother Kyle? Why do you disturb my rest?
[Stan looks for Kyle but finds Kenny's dead body]
Stan: Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
Kyle: [off-screen] You bastards!
Stan: Kyle? Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
Kyle: [off-screen] You bastards!
Stan: Oh my God, they killed Kenny! [follows Kyle's voice]
Kyle: Thanks for saving us, Stan. You're my super best friend.
Stan: Your my super best friend too, Kyle.
Cartman: Oh, that's so sweet you guys! You want to go get a room so you can make out for a while?
Cartman: Blainetology is for everyone. There are Blainetologists who are Catholics, Buddhists... Why even Kyle here is a God damn Jew.
Kyle: That's right.
(Stan trying to convince Kyle to leave with him)
Kyle: I'm not going anywhere.
Stan: Goddamnit I'm not going with you, I wanna stay here.
Kyle: Huh? I thought you wanted to leave.
Stan: Oh wait who am I again?
Kyle: You're Stan.
Over the past few months, I have watched you go from an ancillary character with a few amusing catch phrased to a dried out spooge rag covered in the jizz of a thousand older men.
Kyle: I could really use a friend right now.
Stan: Okay dude, I'm here for you.
Kyle: Okay, then get on Facebook and fertilize my crops.
Kyle: Wow, I didn't know Golf games were this cool.
Cartman: Yeah dude, EA Sports outdid themselves this time.
