Jenna: He said I was a good person.
Lacey: That son of a bitch.

Kevin: Are you still afraid of the lift?
Lacey: Are you still afraid of me ripping your balls off? Because you should be.

I am so sorry sweetie. I'm just going to be a bad parent, and pretend I didn't see any of this.

Without the bad days we can never appreciate the good ones, and, there are so many good days coming your way. Just do me a favor, forgive yourself like you forgave me.

Val: Have you heard of the A.S.S. contest?
Lacey: I won one! But I didn’t get a paperweight I got fifty bucks.

Lacie: Someone wants your advice?
Sadie: Yes, and here’s a tip for free: That top comes in your size too. We already know your boobs are huge.

Get your mind out of the gutter, we're going to Sea World!

And I am not a hippie. What hippie do you know that has fake boobs?

Lacey: Jenna I'm not the best role model.
Jenna: That was a given.

I am far too hot to be a grandma.

She is not driving the slut-wagon. That thing will only bring her negative attention.

The day I wrote it my mother laid into me telling me that I wasn't raising you right, and instead of tuning her out I tuned her in. And I did what I never wanted to do I attacked you the way she has always attacked me, and it wasn't right or fair it was just a family pattern that I couldn't break.

Awkward Quotes

Jenna: This year would be my year. For once I wouldn't be overlooked not with Matty at my... backdoor!
Matty: Oh sorry, I slipped.

For 15 years I fantasized about everyone noticing me as I walked down the hall. What would I be wearing? Would every guy worship me? Would I be five inches taller and have porn tits? No, that was not my reality. My moment in the spotlight sucked some serious ass.

Jenna