Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer

Malory: If we miss that taping, I won't be responsible for my actions.
Lana: Are you ever?

Malory: Well, she won't go to rehab and you won't let her die with dignity...
Lana: From an overdose of cocaine cake?!

Silence - yes! Aspire to that while I think of a plan.

Lana: Have you ever heard a country song?
Archer: Uhhh...Danger Zone?

Lana: Right about here is the part where I hold you responsible.
Archer: Oh my God, the burden.

Lana: If anything goes wrong, I'm holding YOU responsible.
Archer: Yeah, that'll teach me.

Archer: It's the A-Team meets Scarface. That makes me...uh...
Lana: Hannibal Montana?

Archer: I realize now that I was mistaken
Lana: Aww, what a scary new feeling for you.

Lana: I could start smoking crak today and he'd still turn out better than you.

Archer: Why is that, because I never had a father, Lana? So why don't you shut up and then also marry me?!

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