Enoch: I’ve been expecting you.
Hunter [taken aback]: No, we’re here to surprise you, so act surprised!

We’re a hundred percent compatible. Fifty percent of the time. Nearly got married again. Until the ninjas showed up.

Hunter [on his relationship with Bobbi]

It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever heard! ...Except for the sexy robot you made that became human who wanted to stick your floppy in her love drive.

Hunter [on the team’s disappearance]

Fitz: Well, at least you gave me enough time to come up with a good escape plan. So, it’s a mechanism that can slowly assemble, but I’m gonna need you to smuggle it in piece by piece. So, if you can visit three times a week for a month, then I should have everything I need-- what’re you doing?
Hunter [staring at his watch]: I’m gonna need you to move two meters to your left. Mm-hm. And come forward. [He presses a button, and the wall explodes.]
Fitz: What… the bloody *hell*?!
Hunter: Your coded message didn’t have an escape plan, so I had to come up with one of my own. Come on! Let’s go.

Fitz: They printed my letters in the last *six issues*. You ball-busting hooligan.
Hunter: And how many copies do you think are available in *Bangladesh*? None, as in *zero*. Soon as I heard you were missing, I got hold of some. What did you get off on calling Liverpool a bunch of wankers?!
Fitz: Well, if you never win anything--
Hunter: Well, at least we aren’t going to buy our way back to glory!

What are the chances he just tripped and fell and wrapped himself in a nice, comfy tarp?

Bobbi: Everything I felt for you, that was real.
Hunter: Yeah maybe so, but in the end you still got that intel didn't you?

She can handle it. Deception's her forte. I mean that sincerely, not passive-aggressively. As in it's a good attribute for a spy.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Quotes

Kasius: Yo-Yo Rodriguez? How peculiar.
Yo-Yo: Says the space mime!

Sousa: Hey, what are you doing up?
Daisy: Why do you care?
Sousa: Because you don't.