The dog without the bag, it's incomplete. It's a marriage.

Richard: A lot of people call me who are suicidal.
Larry: I don't think you'd be my suicide call.

Cheryl: Larry, what is in your nose?
Larry: It's a tampon.

Larry: He's a Swede.
Funkhouser: He is? I was at his house for hanukkah.

I got a Swede lawyer?!? She's gonna get everything!

First of all, I commend you on the demographics. A Black, an Asian, and are you a Jew per chance?

Larry: Why don't you get a divorce?
Funkhouser: I'm too lazy.

Larry: Guy pulls up to me on a motorcycle. Guess who it turns out to be?
Jeff: Portia De Rossi.

Larry: Everything okay?
Kiera: I uhh think I just had my first period.

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