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Ellie: Should I remove your nuts?
Laurie: Oh, it's not you, she's just a horrible person.

Laurie: This will cheer you up! I have really good news?
Ellie: Are you sterile?!

Uh, I think I sweated off my birth control patch.

Happy Valentines Day. Yeah it's a fake holiday, but we still want stuff. Xoxo The female writers P.S. Not lingerie - that's for you

Title Card

There's a fun game - "Things Ellie Would Never Say."

I am now the official baker of the Latin Kings. Lil' Choke is gonna be so excited he gets stomped in this week.

Don't look a gift whore in the mouth.

Laurie: Zooey Descha-hell-no, what you two need is revenge. If someone hurts you, you hurt them right back.
Jules: Yeah revenge is better I'm in.
Andy: Me too.

Laurie: Wait guys, I read something!
Ellie: Already not a true story.

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