I used to watch Jeopardy! everyday because I had a major lady rod for Alex Trebek. Till I found out he was Canadian. Gross.

Never judge a book by its front parts.

Wrong Balls is trending on Twitter. It's above Bieber.

The answer was Grandma Moses. You should have gotten that Ellie; weren't the two of you sorority sisters?

I heard she kicked your ass. Must sting to lose to Oldielocks.

Laurie: I went to a crap school in a crap neighborhood and reading really got me out.
Jules: It did?
Laurie: No, car modeling did. But it's really fun to say reading did.

Laurie: Jules I didn't know you sponsored an African child.
Jules: Oh yeah, little Omari. He's 10. I gotta say those letters are getting a little repetitive. It's hot; I'm hungry; there's snakes.

I am pissed that they just played a Miley Cyrus song and everyone knew the lyrics!

Ellie: It is a gorgeous night and I have no kid waiting at home. Shiraz me. Laurie, you are rockin' those jeans. Hi girlfriend!
Laurie: Why's it being nice?
Andy: Is this the golden seven minutes?

Andy: When you're dancing alone, I stand behind you and go "Damn!"
Laurie: Yes, because ass worship is contagious.

Tell her I'll get like, jury duty drunk.

Bobby: You need to go hit it and quit it.
Andy: Toot it and boot it.
Laurie: Whip it and skip it.
Bobby: Wax it and tax it.
Andy: Mother it and smother it.
Laurie: Bop it and drop it.
Grayson: Chuck it and ... re-chuck it.
Laurie: Yours don't make any sense.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

We're even wearing the same unisex cologne. "Both" by Bruce Jenner.

Laurie