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The-simpsons

Lenny: Aw, if they hire a woman we won't be able to spit on the floor.
Carl: And we can't take off our pants when it gets real hot.
Homer: And we won't be able to pee in the drinking fountain.
(Lenny and Carl stare at him)
Homer: Er, I mean, not--you know, if we wanted to--not that I ever did.

Brad Goodman: Let me hear what's troubling you. Don't be shy, yell it out. Everybody, go!
Mayor Quimby: I, er, can't commit to a relationship.
Mr. Burns: I'm too nice!
Apu: I have problems with--
Lenny: I'm always interrupting people!

Carl: Hey, Homer, you wanna get a beer on the way home?
Homer: (bitter) I can't. I gotta take my wife to the ballet.
Lenny: Heh, You're gonna go see the bear in the little car, huh?

Barney: (whacking invisible snakes) Snakes! Snakes everywhere!
Lenny: You gettin' ready for Whacking Day?
Barney: What's Whacking Day?

Mr. Burns: Look at him, Smithers. Exercising away. While the others are off at the candy machine.
Homer: Hey, Lenny, can you get this Sugar Daddy off my back?
Lenny: Okay, but it's the last time!

Carl: Hey, I heard we're goin' to Ape Island.
Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wished we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Carl: Apes. But they're not so big.

Carl: That's it?
Lenny: Yeah, I've got a magic bat too!
Carl: And I have an enchanting jockstrap, Heh, heh, heh.

Lenny: Hit one here Charlie!
(Charlie swings his bat, it slips out his hands and goes flying into one of Lenny's shins)
Lenny: (in pain) Aah! Aaah!

Burns: These two gentlemen are American as apple pie! Hans and Fritz, why that's just... John and Frank!
Quimby: Ich bin ein Springfielder
Carl: Oh this ain't good!
Homer: We'll all lose our jobs!
Marge: Look at all those worried faces, except for Lenny, he looks great!
Lenny: (with mouth surgery) This is the worst day of my life.

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