The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Leonard Hofstadter Quotes
Leonard: You went to the comic book store by yourself?
Penny: Yeah. It was fun. I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks. Felt pretty good.
Penny [referring to Sheldon]: What's up with Ichabod?
Leonard: Oh, he's trying to make a new friend
Penny: Well good for him
Leonard: Unless he makes one out of wood like Geppetto, I don't think it's going to happen
Leonard: 'Sup
Sheldon: 'Sup
Leonard: Sheldon, I am so sorry I dragged you through this.
Sheldon: It's ok. It wasn't my first pantsing, and it won't be my last.
Leonard: But you were right about my motives. I was hoping to establish a relationship with Penny that might have someday led to sex.
Sheldon: Well, you got me out of my pants.
Leonard: How does a miserable date end in sex?
Penny: I don't know, it's complicated.
Leonard: Well, I'm a pretty smart guy and right now my brain has dibs on the blood supply so give it a go.
Wolowitz: I once dated a girl who believed she was abducted by aliens.
Leonard: And that didn't bother you?
Wolowitz: Au contraire; it meant she was gullible and open to a little probing.
Wolowitz [about Sheldon]: How long's he been stuck?
Leonard: Intellectually about 30 hours, emotionally about 29 years.
Wolowitz: Have you tried rebooting him?
Leonard: No, I think it's a firmware problem.
Leslie: Listen, neither of us are neuroscientists, but we both understand the biochemistry of sex. I mean, dopamine in our brains is released across synapses, causing pleasure. You stick electrodes in a rat's brain, give him an orgasm button, he'll push that thing until he starves to death.
Leonard: Well, who wouldn't?
Leslie: Well, the only difference between us and the rat is that you can't stick an electrode in our hypothalamus. That's where you come in
Sheldon: How was your date?
Leonard: Awesome!
Sheldon: Score one for liquor and poor judgment
Leonard: Why would you want a glow-in-the-dark ant farm?
Sheldon: They do some of their best work at night.
Leonard: I'm her friend, I'm not going to take advantage of her vulnerability.
Wolowitz: Wait, so you're saying that if in the depths of despair she throws herself at you and demands you take her right there, right now, you'll just walk away?
Leonard: I said I'm her friend, not her gay friend
Leonard: How can you have a girlfriend you can't even speak to women?
Raj: Two words: deaf chick. It doesn't matter if i can't talk cause she can't hear me.
Leonard: What?
Raj: That's what she said.
