Leonard: I'm not a crybaby.
Penny: Toy Story 3?
Leonard: They were holding hands in a furnace!

Sheldon: You have to check your messages, Leonard! Leaving a message is one-half of a social contract, which is completed by the checking of the message. If that contract breaks down, then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy.
Leonard: It must be hell inside your head.
Sheldon: At times.

Leonard: Raj, you're our group historian. Has Sheldon ever begged before?
Raj: Three times. He begged the Fox network not to cancel 'Firefly.' He begged the TNT network to cancel 'Babylon 5.' And when he got food poisoning at the Rose Bowl Parade, he begged a deity he doesn't believe in to end his life quickly.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Penny: Leonard, will you marry me?
Leonard: Hmm.

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Leonard: I'm her friend, I'm not going to take advantage of her vulnerability.
Wolowitz: Wait, so you're saying that if in the depths of despair she throws herself at you and demands you take her right there, right now, you'll just walk away?
Leonard: I said I'm her friend, not her gay friend

Leonard: Hang on. Why do we have to hate it?
Penny: Three words. Dr. Who Convention.

Your element does not exist!

Sheldon: Well, I'm not just some trained monkey dancing for coins.
Leonard: Of course not. People love trained monkeys.

Leonard: If there was an asteroid strike,wouldn't you die, too?
Sheldon: I don't know-- I'm smart and scrappy, I think I'd find a way.

There's no junk jiggling; we just talk.

Leonard: You have a TV in your room. Why don't you just have breakfast in bed?
Sheldon: Because I am neither an invalid nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day

TBBT Quotes

Leonard: I'm not a crybaby.
Penny: Toy Story 3?
Leonard: They were holding hands in a furnace!

Sheldon: I asked myself what is the most mind-numbing, pedestrian job conceivable and three answers came to mind: a toll booth employees, an Apple store genius, and what penny does. Because I don't like touch other peoples' coins and I refuse to contribute to the devaluation of the word genius, here I am.