Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Penny: Leonard, will you marry me?
Leonard: Hmm.

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There's no junk jiggling; we just talk.

Leonard: Will you take that stupid red hat off?
Wolowitz: No, I want to blend in
Raj: To what? Toy story?

Penny: Think we'll have time to visit your mom while we're there?
Leonard: Yes. We'll also have time to put my junk in a garlic press, but I'm not doing that either.

Leonard: Oh, you do what you want, but I don't want to lose my friends over tenure. Friends are forever.
Howard [coughing]: So, is tenure.

Sheldon: Your cell phone was off.
Leonard: Because we didn't want to be disturbed!
Sheldon: Well that didn't work out, now did it?

Oh, no, he's gonna telecommute. Everybody's really excited about it.

Leonard [referring to him and Penny]: Our babies would be smart and beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary

Leonard: Do you really need the Honorary Justice League of America Membership card?
Sheldon: It's been in every wallet I owned since I was five.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: It says keep this on your person at all times. It's right here under Batman's signature.

Leonard: So, what happens now?
Leslie: Well, I don't know about your sex drive, but I'm probably good till New Year's.
Leonard: Oh. Okay. Thank you.
Leslie: Thank you.
Leonard: You want to make plans for New Year's?
Leslie: Whoa, Leonard, please. You're smothering me

Leonard: I understand your impulse to try to physically intimidate me. I mean, you can't compete with me on an intellectual level and so you're driven to animalistic puppery.
Kurt: Call me a "puppy animal?"

TBBT Quotes

Mrs. Cooper: Shelly! I'm so glad you're here!
Sheldon: I saw you having naked sex.

Penny: I give up, he's impossible
Sheldon: I can't be impossible, I exist. I believe what you meant to say is, "I give up, he's improbable."