I'm cool with surprises, but nothing on the Jumbotron. I don't want to cry on the big screen like that.

You have to propose to me.

Leonard: You know what? That was pretty crappy of you. All I wanted to do was to give you a great night and it was like you went out of your way to destroy it.
Penny: Yeah, I know. I'm a total bitch.
Leonard: I'm not saying that.
Penny: Well, I am.
Leonard: Oh, fine you win. You're a bitch.

Leonard: Two can play this game.
Penny: Get up.

Howard: A micro-valentine for a microbiologist.
Leonard: From her micro-husband.

Well, this time is going to be different because I'm a like a romance ninja. You don't see it coming and then BAM. Romance, watch out, hearts, kisses, love, ewww wah.

Penny: No, I said "Oh my God, I think that old guy's choking" and one of the busboy's Heimlich'd him.
Leonard: You're a hero...
Penny: Yeah ... that was the point of the story.

Sheldon: Have you seen the one where Lori dies?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Or, maybe she doesn't. Let's find out.

Oh, spoiler alert. This door's about to slam in your face.

Leonard: Maybe it's a shipping problem.
Howard: What?
Leonard: Maybe Wesley Snipes and Toucan Sam just got action figures that look like you guys.

Fine, but set them to stun. If we vaporize Penny, I'll never find a girlfriend that pretty again.

Raj: Are they actually arguing about comic books?
Leonard: No, that can't be right.
Howard: Maybe "Thor's Hammer" is a new color of nail polish.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.