The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSLeonard Hofstadter Quotes
If they didn't want to be yelled at by crazy nerds, they shouldn't have started a sci-fi channel.
Sheldon: Why would the Chinese make our DVR record Paul Blart: Mall Cop?
Leonard: I don't know. It's a fat guy on a Segway. That's funny everywhere.
Leonard: Oh, you do what you want, but I don't want to lose my friends over tenure. Friends are forever.
Howard [coughing]: So, is tenure.
Way to hit'em with both barrels.
Seriously, is that tape? Like, how are they staying up like that?
Amy
Leonard: You realize you might kill some of them.
Penny: Oh, then you all can get tenure.
Leonard: Mmm, you know, we could throw a dinner party too. Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up.
Penny: Sure. Just when you say "dressed up" you mean nice clothes, right? Not, like, capes and tights and crap
Leonard: Although...
Penny: No.
Howard: Last time I was here, I was a scrawny little nerd.
Leonard: And, now, you're also an astronaut.
Sheldon: I believe in a gender blind society like in Star Trek. Where women and men of all races and creeds worked side-by-side as equals.
Leonard: You mean where they were advanced enough to develop an interstellar warp drive, but a black lady still answered the space phone?
Leonard: Helping women?
Sheldon: Helping anyone. People should take care of themselves.
Leonard: Oh, like yesterday when you made me drive you to the dry cleaners, the pharmacy and the post office?
Penny: Leonard Hofstadler...
Leonard: Yes?
Penny: Will you be my valentine?
Leonard: Sorry. Maybe, next year. ... I'm just kidding. Romance ninja. Let's have sex! Wah!
I'm cool with surprises, but nothing on the Jumbotron. I don't want to cry on the big screen like that.
