Leonard Hofstadter Quotes
Leonard: See, this is the good thing about having a girlfriend 9,000 miles away I can spend my nights doing whatever I want.
Howard: You mean playing nerd games with us and then taking a suspiciously long shower?
[Sheldon karate chops Leonard in the shoulder]
Leonard: Ow! Why did you do that?
Sheldon: To send a message: she's not for you!
Sheldon: Not for you!
Amy: If it makes you feel any better, the only person who signed my yearbook was my mother.
Amy: "Dear, Amy. Self-respect and a hymen are better than friends and fun. Love, Mom."
Amy: Should I go? I've been told, sometimes, I overstay my welcome.
Leonard: Wha ... who told you that?
Amy: Well, most recently my gynecologist.
Leonard: You're my woman. I'm going to make you feel things you have never felt before.
Leonard: That's right, say my name and beg me for more because I'm going to give it to you.
Priya: My parents are here.
Priya's father: Hello, Leonard, if I may also say your name.
Priya: Wow, Leonard, already?
Leonard: No no no. The screen froze.
There's no junk jiggling; we just talk.
Leonard: What are you doing here?
Raj: I was sleeping!
Leonard: In MY bed?
Raj: Well, I would have slept in my OWN bed, but it was being used to bring shame to my family....and the memory of Gene Roddenberry!
Bernadette: I was head-hunted by a big pharmaceutical company. They're going to pay me a buttload of money!!
Leonard: Bernadette, that's great!! Howard, do YOU make a buttload?
Howard: Better than what YOU got a buttload of!
Raj: Can I bring girls here?
Leonard: You? Sure. Bring as many as you want.
Raj: Okay, deal.
Leonard: Just not against their will.
Open the landing bay doors, shuttle craft approaching.
Howard: You gotta like this. The girlfriend, the ex-girlfriend bonding over your rooty-tooty stinky booty.
Leonard: Kill me.
Sheldon: It wouldn't help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.