The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Penny: What if I got him to apologize and promise to behave?
Leonard: Then I guess we would let him back on the app team and while we're doing that, you can take an aerial tour of L.A. on your flying pig.

Leonard: It's what we do. We give each other a hard time. Hey, Sheldon, you look like a praying mantis.
Sheldon: That was very hurtful.

You actually want to deceive your father with some sort of sham, playacting and kissing? Because I'm good with that.

Sheldon: And here's where we are -- the runts in a large litter unlikely to ever reach the nourishing teats of Indiana Jones.
Leonard: So it's good we stopped for dinner.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Raj: Woh, woh, woh! I don't want to speak to the FBI.
Leonard: Why not?
Raj: I'm brown and I talk funny.

Leonard: You put moths in my food!?
Sheldon: For science.

Leonard: You know what happens when you yawn in public...
Sheldon: Everyone will see my oddly shaped uvela.

Sheldon: I want you to know that I'm genuinely concerned about your well-being.
Leonard: Thank you.
Sheldon: You're welcome. But it's still no reason to have your feet in my spot.

Leonard: Have you considered telling her your feelings?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
Leonard: Well let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane, wrapped helicly around an axis.
Sheldon: Screwed.
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: How can you have a girlfriend you can't even speak to women?
Raj: Two words: deaf chick. It doesn't matter if i can't talk cause she can't hear me.
Leonard: What?
Raj: That's what she said.

If they took all the money trying to make a decent Hulk movie, they could probably just make an actual Hulk.

Displaying quotes 241 - 252 of 448 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon