Howard: You gotta like this. The girlfriend, the ex-girlfriend bonding over your rooty-tooty stinky booty.
Leonard: Kill me.
Sheldon: It wouldn't help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.

Howard: You gotta like this: the girlfriend.....the ex-girlfriend, bonding over your rooty-tooty stinky booty?
(all but Leonard laugh)
Leonard: Kill me!
Sheldon: It wouldn't help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.

Leonard: Does your family have a history of heart disease?
Wolowitz: My family is the history of heart disease. There's a cave painting in France of one of my ancestors doing this. [mimicks heart attack]

Leonard: Beekeeper to King 12. I capture your pope and release the swarm. Checkmate on Sheldon.
Sheldon: I knew I should've given my pope the jet pack.

Oh, cool, I've got a lawyer and I've seen her naked.

Leonard: Oh, geez, I - I don't know if I can ditch Priya two nights in a row.
Raj: Oh, come on, man. Bros before... my sister.

Leonard: You called the police because someone hacked your World of Warcraft account?
Sheldon: What choice did I have? The mighty Sheldor, level 85 blood elf, hero of the Eastern kingdoms has been picked clean, like a carcass in the desert sun. Plus, the FBI hung up on me.

If I had contacts I would have been the coolest Debate Club president to be shoved in his own cello case.

Priya: Just because you're in bed Indian woman, you think that gives you permission to use crazy positions from an ancient Indian love manual?
Leonard: If you could find a book called "Weird Sex With White Boys," I'd be OK with that.

I live so close I can hear your toilet flush. I don't listen for it, but nice to know everything's OK with your plumbing. In your building.

Leonard: So don't watch TV. Read a book.
Sheldon: And be a social pariah? Now you know that's not my style.

Sheldon: Oh what fun. Like hippies at a love-in.
Leonard: Just sit here.
Sheldon: Right on man, right on.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Sheldon: Even the dung beetle chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
Raj: Is that true?
Sheldon: Everything I say is true. Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys eating fece, living in feces and making little balls out of feces. So, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.