Howard: You gotta like this. The girlfriend, the ex-girlfriend bonding over your rooty-tooty stinky booty.
Leonard: Kill me.
Sheldon: It wouldn't help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.

Howard: You gotta like this: the girlfriend.....the ex-girlfriend, bonding over your rooty-tooty stinky booty?
(all but Leonard laugh)
Leonard: Kill me!
Sheldon: It wouldn't help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.

Leonard: Does your family have a history of heart disease?
Wolowitz: My family is the history of heart disease. There's a cave painting in France of one of my ancestors doing this. [mimicks heart attack]

Leonard: Beekeeper to King 12. I capture your pope and release the swarm. Checkmate on Sheldon.
Sheldon: I knew I should've given my pope the jet pack.

Oh, cool, I've got a lawyer and I've seen her naked.

Leonard: Oh, geez, I - I don't know if I can ditch Priya two nights in a row.
Raj: Oh, come on, man. Bros before... my sister.

Leonard: You called the police because someone hacked your World of Warcraft account?
Sheldon: What choice did I have? The mighty Sheldor, level 85 blood elf, hero of the Eastern kingdoms has been picked clean, like a carcass in the desert sun. Plus, the FBI hung up on me.

If I had contacts I would have been the coolest Debate Club president to be shoved in his own cello case.

Priya: Just because you're in bed Indian woman, you think that gives you permission to use crazy positions from an ancient Indian love manual?
Leonard: If you could find a book called "Weird Sex With White Boys," I'd be OK with that.

I live so close I can hear your toilet flush. I don't listen for it, but nice to know everything's OK with your plumbing. In your building.

Leonard: So don't watch TV. Read a book.
Sheldon: And be a social pariah? Now you know that's not my style.

Sheldon: Oh what fun. Like hippies at a love-in.
Leonard: Just sit here.
Sheldon: Right on man, right on.

TBBT Quotes

Leonard: I'm not a crybaby.
Penny: Toy Story 3?
Leonard: They were holding hands in a furnace!

Two tea bags in one cup? You're not at a rave.

Sheldon