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Penny: Dave is not smarter than you, he's an idiot.
Leonard: Really? Why would you say that?
Penny: Because a smart guy takes the nude photos of his wife off his cell phone before he tries to take nude photos of his girlfriend.
Leonard: He tried to take nude photos of you?
Penny: That's what you took from that?
- Permalink: Dave is not smarter than you, he's an idiot. Really? Why would...
Leonard: Every time I try to talk to her about moving out she cries, and we have sex.
Raj: You're lucky. With me it's usually the other way around
- Permalink: Every time I try to talk to her about moving out she cries, and ...
Penny: You don't always have to go along with what the woman wants.
Leonard: Nothing... just re-thinking my whole life
- Permalink: You don't always have to go along with what the woman wants. H...
Penny: I am going to introduce your friend to a world of hurt.
Leonard: You don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy is one lab accident away from being a super villain
- Permalink: I am going to introduce your friend to a world of hurt. You do...
Raj: We now have the address of the Top Model house.
Howard: God bless you, Google Street Viewâ€”registered trademark.
Leonard: Okay, for the record, what you guys are doing is really creepy.
Wolowitz: You know what? If it's creepy to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so that I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine, I'm creepy.
- Permalink: We now have the address of the Top Model house. God bless you,...
Leonard: Put it on the agenda.
Sheldon: You have to make a motion to put it on the agenda.
Leonard: Oh, I'll make a motion, but you're not going to like it
- Permalink: Put it on the agenda. You have to make a motion to put it on t...
Leonard: Just apologize to him, okay?
Penny: What? I'm not going to apologize to that nut-case.
Leonard: Come on, it's easy. He'll even tell you what to say
- Permalink: Just apologize to him, okay? What? I'm not going to apologize ...
Wolowitz: Over the years, we've formulated a number of theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Wolowitz: I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.
Leonard: On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton
- Permalink: Over the years, we've formulated a number of theories about how ...
Ramona: You're not going to Halo night
Sheldon: Yes, I am. It's Wednesday. Wednesday's Halo night.
Ramona: Didn't a great man once say, "Science demands nothing less than the fervent and unconditional dedication of our entire lives"?
Sheldon: He did.
Ramona: And who was that great man?
Sheldon: Me. Sorry, Leonard.
Leonard: Seriously? You're not coming?
Sheldon: You heard her. How can I argue with me?
- Permalink: You're not going to Halo night Yes, I am. It's Wednesday. Wedn...
Penny [after witnessing Sheldon and Ramona together]: You probably don't want to go in there.
Leonard: Why? What are they doing?
Penny: The only way I could explain it would be in a therapist's office with dolls
- Permalink: You probably don't want to go in there. Why? What are they doi...
Sheldon: Looking out at your fresh young faces, I remember when I, too, was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student. Of course, I was fourteen. And I had already achieved more than most of you could ever hope to, despite my 9:00 bedtime. Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who has what it takes to succeed in theoretical physics, although it's more likely that you'll spend your scientific careers teaching fifth graders how to make papier-mÃ¢chÃ© volcanoes with baking soda lava.
Leonard: Oh, good God.
Sheldon: In short, anyone who told you that you would someday be able to make some significant contribution to physics, played a cruel trick on youâ€”a cruel trick indeed. Any questions? ... Of course not. I weep for the future of science
- Permalink: 00 bedtime. Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who...
Rajesh: Isn't there a University policy against dating graduate students?
Leonard: No. If you can talk to them, you can ask them out.
Rajesh: Damn, there's always a catch
- Permalink: Isn't there a University policy against dating graduate students...