Leonard Hofstadter Quotes
Penny [about his mom]: You can't let her get into your head
Leonard: It's too late for me, my head is her summer house
- Permalink: You can't let her get into your head It's too late for me, my ...
Mrs. Hofstadter [about Penny]: If you want to have sex with that woman, find out what kind of cologne her father wore
Leonard: Hello mother
- Permalink: If you want to have sex with that woman, find out what kind of c...
Leonard: Okay, is everyone clear on the plan?
Wolowitz: Yes. Koothrappali is going to wet himself, I'm going to throw up, Sheldon is going to run away, and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches?
- Permalink: Okay, is everyone clear on the plan? Yes. Koothrappali is goin...
Leonard: What was the plan?
Penny: Um, waitress for six months and then become a movie star.
Leonard: Was there a Plan B?
Penny: TV star.
- Permalink: What was the plan? Um, waitress for six months and then become...
Penny: Dave is not smarter than you, he's an idiot.
Leonard: Really? Why would you say that?
Penny: Because a smart guy takes the nude photos of his wife off his cell phone before he tries to take nude photos of his girlfriend.
Leonard: He tried to take nude photos of you?
Penny: That's what you took from that?
- Permalink: Dave is not smarter than you, he's an idiot. Really? Why would...
Leonard: Every time I try to talk to her about moving out she cries, and we have sex.
Raj: You're lucky. With me it's usually the other way around
- Permalink: Every time I try to talk to her about moving out she cries, and ...
Penny: You don't always have to go along with what the woman wants.
Leonard: Nothing... just re-thinking my whole life
- Permalink: You don't always have to go along with what the woman wants. H...
Penny: I am going to introduce your friend to a world of hurt.
Leonard: You don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy is one lab accident away from being a super villain
- Permalink: I am going to introduce your friend to a world of hurt. You do...
Raj: We now have the address of the Top Model house.
Howard: God bless you, Google Street Viewâ€”registered trademark.
Leonard: Okay, for the record, what you guys are doing is really creepy.
Wolowitz: You know what? If it's creepy to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so that I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine, I'm creepy.
- Permalink: We now have the address of the Top Model house. God bless you,...
Leonard: Put it on the agenda.
Sheldon: You have to make a motion to put it on the agenda.
Leonard: Oh, I'll make a motion, but you're not going to like it
- Permalink: Put it on the agenda. You have to make a motion to put it on t...
Leonard: Just apologize to him, okay?
Penny: What? I'm not going to apologize to that nut-case.
Leonard: Come on, it's easy. He'll even tell you what to say
- Permalink: Just apologize to him, okay? What? I'm not going to apologize ...
Wolowitz: Over the years, we've formulated a number of theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Wolowitz: I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.
Leonard: On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton
- Permalink: Over the years, we've formulated a number of theories about how ...
Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.Sheldon
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.