The Big Bang Theory

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The big bang theory
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Sheldon: Leonard, have you ever wondered why my little toes and lateral incisors are significantly smaller than the average for someone of my size?
Leonard: I wonder a lot of things about you Sheldon, but not that

Raj: Did you see my limo downstairs?
Leonard: Yeah.
Raj: It's bigger than the house my grandfather grew up in.
Leonard: Great.
Raj: It has more food, too

Leonard: It wouldn't kill us to meet new people.
Sheldon: For the record, it could kill us to meet new people

Wolowitz: So you're just going to sit around here and mope while Penny is out with Dr. Apu from the Kwik-E-Mart?
Leonard: It's not a date, and that's racist.
Wolowitz: It can't be racist, he's a beloved character on The Simpsons

Leonard: If we do get a new friend, he should be a guy you can trust. You know, a guy who has your back.
Wolowitz: And he should have a lot of money and live in a cool place down by the beach where we could throw parties.
Sheldon: And he should share our love of technology.
Wolowitz: And he should know a lot of women.
Leonard: Okay, let's see: money, women, technology. Okay, we're agreed. Our new friend is going to be Iron Man

Sheldon: Why should I leave? This is my apartment, too.
Leonard: I know it is. And if science ever discovers a second member of your species, and you two would like some privacy, I'll be more than happy to get out of your way

Leonard: How could you just sit there and let them spy on me?
Sheldon: They were clever, Leonard. They exploited my complete lack of interest in what you were doing

Leonard: What do you mean, you're moving out? Why?
Sheldon: There doesn't have to be a reason.
Leonard: Yeah, there kinda does.
Sheldon: Not necessarily. This is a classic example of Münchhausen's Trilemma. Either the reason is predicated on a series of sub-reasons leading to an infinite regression, or it tracks back to arbitrary axiomatic statements, or it's ultimately circular, i.e. I'm moving out because I'm moving out.
Leonard: I'm still confused.
Sheldon: Leonard, I don't see how I could have made it any simpler

Penny: So it's fine with you if I'm not smart.
Leonard: Absolutely. [Penny closes the door on him] Okay, this time I know where I went wrong

Leonard: [Sheldon] says he's moving out.
Raj: What did you do? Did you change the contrast or brightness settings on the television?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Did you take a Band-Aid off in front of him?
Leonard: No.
Wolowitz: Did you buy generic ketchup? Forget to rinse the sink? Talk to him through the bathroom door?

Penny [referring to Sheldon]: What's up with Ichabod?
Leonard: Oh, he's trying to make a new friend
Penny: Well good for him
Leonard: Unless he makes one out of wood like Geppetto, I don't think it's going to happen

Penny: Yes, I will go out with you.
Leonard: Really?
Penny: Yeah. Why not? I mean, what do I have to lose?
Leonard: Yeah. That's the spirit

Displaying quotes 349 - 360 of 448 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Sheldon: Ugh! English pudding. Y-You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it. I'm not going.
Amy: You're going.
Sheldon: Why do you hate me?
Amy: I don't hate you. I love you.
Sheldon: Well, you call it love, but it has a lot of raisins in it.