The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Leonard: I love you, but I will not marry you.
Penny: Thank you.
Leonard: Now about that second proposal, on the one hand...

That's two proposals in one day. Sounds like someone wants to spend the rest of her life telling people how to spell Hofstadter.

Penny: Leonard, will you marry me?
Leonard: Hmm.

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Leonard: I regret not saying "yes"when you asked me to marry you.
Penny: Well, it just wasn't the right time.
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: And this is also not the right time. Do not propose.
Leonard: What?
Penny: I know that face. That's your propose face.

Leonard: I'm not a crybaby.
Penny: Toy Story 3?
Leonard: They were holding hands in a furnace!

Leonard: All right. I officially reinstate Anything Can Happen Thursday.
Penny: Great! What do, what do you want to do?
Sheldon: I don't know. What do you want to do?
Penny: I don't know. What do you want to do?
Leonard: I'm starting to remember the problem with Anything Can Happen Thursdays.

Penny: So, we're about to shoot this scene in the movie where the killer ape DNA is slowly taking over my body.
Leonard: Okay.
Penny: But I realize they're gluing fur everywhere, except my cleavage. So, I asked
the director why and he says, it's important to the story that my boobs be the last things to turn ape.
Leonard: It's sweet that he thinks there's a story.

That was Wil -- he's feeling a lot better. Apparently, he's 12-down in the TV Guide crossword puzzle.

Sheldon: Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One? Raj.
Raj: Uh, Xbox One.
Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Huh?
Sheldon: Leonard.
Leonard: PS4.
Sheldon: Wolowitz.
Howard: Both great.
Sheldon: Bernadette.
Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma

Penny: Okay, look, here, page 58. I oil-wrestle an orangutan
in a bikini.
Leonard: Just to clarify, which one of you is wearing the bikini?
Penny: Both of us.
Leonard: So it's a family film.

Penny: Next time I get pulled over for a speeding ticket, here come the waterworks.
Sheldon [running to bathroom]: Here come the waterworks!
Leonard: Aren't you gonna ask?
Penny: What is this, my first day?

Sheldon: Boy, do I have to urinate.
Leonard: If only there were a solution
to that.
Sheldon: Seriously. I feel like I've got
a fish tank in my pelvis.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 448 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny: I always tear up when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes.
Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which can lead to congestive heart failure.