The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Penny: Oh, come on. Why? How bad could it be?
Leonard: There-there's chapters about potty training, bed wetting and masturbation. Basically, if something came out of me, she wrote about it!

Sheldon: To the planetarium!
Penny: Let's go!
Leonard: To the Tar Pits!
Bernadette: Let's go!
Amy: There's a Neil Diamond concert next month.
Howard: Let's go!

I have to hit the head. That's what us salty seadogs say when we have to go pee-pee.

Leonard: I didn't tell Sheldon so we could have a few days alone.
Penny: Oh, that is so romantic.
Leonard: Uh, sure, that's why I did it.

Penny: I love you.
Leonard: I love you, too.

Penny: Oh, I don't know. Remember what happened when I took care of your goldfish?
Leonard: Well, flush Sheldon down the toilet and get me a new one.

Penny: On a ship? Aren't they afraid Hawking will just roll overboard?
Leonard: Uh, he's not gonna be there. He's just sending a team to research his theory.
Penny: Oh sure. Like when you send me to kill spiders in your bathtub.

Leonard: I know what you are doing. You don't want me going on this research trip because you're afraid to be alone.
Sheldon: I'm not afraid to be alone. On the sea, it would be terrifying. Because of all the drowning.

Penny: This isn't alcohol. It's a potion that makes me like you.
Leonard: Double potion, please.

Sheldon: It would -- fun? Yeah, okay, three weeks ago, you brought crunchy peanut butter but now you want the girls to play D & D -- do you have a drug problem?
Leonard: What's the big deal?

Leonard: See, Howard is just as good a dungeon master as I am.
Sheldon: As good? You just got pantsed in the school yard four eyes.

Leonard: Sometimes change is good. You were worried about Zachary Quinto being the new Spock, but you ended up liking him.
Sheldon: Leonard, please, every time the topic of change comes up you throw Zachary Quinto in my face. I'm upset the mailman has a new haircut -- Zachary Quinto. I'm upset daylight savings time started -- Zachary Quinto. I'm upset daylight savings time ended -- Zachary Quinto. I'm saying this for the last time. Zachary Quinto was a weird, wonderful, unrepeatable event, so stop using him against me.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 434 in total

TBBT Quotes

Amy: I simply pointed out that they would never consider doing an article ranking male scientists on their sexuality, let alone showing them in various stages of undress.
Bernadette: Because no one wants to see Neil deGrasse Tyson in a wet T-shirt bent over the hood of a Porsche.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon
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