Cabot: As you know, the Navy is trying harder than ever to eradicate sexual assault in their ranks.
Gibbs: Was Ensign Tate a rape suspect?
Cabot: Right to the point, as always. No Gibbs, Tate was a second-party complainant. He reported an assault on behalf of a friend.

[after killing Salim] Let's go home.

Get to work. Probie.

Rachel: When do I get my inheritance?
Gibbs: When you're 25?
Tony: That will go a long way in the prison gift shop.

Ziva: We killed you first, Tony.
Tony: Oh, I've seen it a million times. The pretty popular girl gets jealous when the hot new transfer comes in and steals all the spotlight. Well, it's pretty much a staple of every high school movie from the seventies and eighties : Heathers, Fast Times ...
Gibbs: Who got jealous in Fast Times? God, I like Phoebe Cates.

Gibbs: Felix, did Dan take a bribe and frame Lourda for the murders?
Betts: We did some good, didn't we? We got some sandwiches inside. You guys hungry?
Pride: Sandwiches sound real good, Felix. Real good.

Admiral McGee: Get me off the ship.
Gibbs: Can't.
Admiral McGee: Sure you can.
McGee: No dad, he can't. Man died here today. Until we've figured out what happened this whole crew's on lockdown.
Admiral McGee: Understandable but I have some place to be.
McGee: Been hearing that one my whole life.
Admiral McGee: Good to see you too son.

Vance: A week ago I go in for a physical, feeling fine. Now they want to run more tests.
Gibbs: Yeah? What's wrong?
Vance: The chest x-ray showed that there's spots on my lungs.
Gibbs: What's your doctor say about that?
Vance: He's waiting for the results of the CAT scan that I'm taking tomorrow. I'll know more then.
Gibbs: He give a guess?
Vance: Lymphoma. Advance stage. I'm scared, Gibbs.
Gibbs: Yeah. Anybody would be.

Butt out McGee. Butt off my desk, Borin.

Abby: Gibbs! Trying to give me heart palpitations?
Gibbs: No. What've you got, Abbs?
Abby: Heart palpitations.

Gibbs: How's your love life, DiNozzo?
Tony: Huh?
Gibbs: You still seeing the secretary?
McGee: He means Andrea.
Bishop: Andrea. Hmm. Who's Andrea?
Tony: Andrea. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's uh, I mean, it's kind of on an as-needed basis.
Pride: Friends with benefits?
Gibbs: Yeah well those aren't benefits like dental insurance.

First things first. Hide the women and children. (Season 7, Episode 23)

Rule #44

NCIS Quotes

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.