Gibbs: New phone?
Fornell: I am no longer a Luddite.
Gibbs: Since when?
Fornell: Since now. I still respect your beliefs, Gibbs, but they are no longer my own.

Gibbs: Okay. [laughs] Who is she? [Shuts down elevator] The phone. The plans. Are you dating again, Tobias?
Fornell: Okay. And if I am?
Gibbs: Just tell me.
Fornell: Okay. My sex life--
Gibbs: Oh God, just -- [turns elevator back on]

Vance: What was the operation in '02?
Bishop: Juniper Strike.
Vance: And?
Bishop: We only know as much as this top sheet says. While the list wasn't classified, the operation it refers to is, and since it's a joint operation, we'll need clearance from British SAS.
Vance: Gibbs?
Gibbs: I'd rather not wait, director.
Vance: Me neither. Go.
Bishop: Just to be clear, you want us to hack into the case files.
Vance: [nods]

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Gibbs: How many have you got?
Fornell: None.
Gibbs: Doesn't sound like it.
Fornell: Well. I can't get it up.
Gibbs: Aw geeze.....
Fornell: No. The nerve. I can't get up the nerve to go out with them. I should start this all again.
Gibbs: Please. Don't.

Did you happen to catch her name, DiNozzo, or is that not the way dates work anymore?

Gibbs: How did you meet her the first time?
Tony: I met her in a bar.
Gibbs: Let me guess. She approached you.
Tony: They usually do, but...I was a target.
Gibbs: An easy one!

Gibbs: So listen. Stretch. This isn't a game. You've got one shot at your friend. No fooling around.
Tall Tony: Don't worry. I'm an actor.
Gibbs: Yeah. That's what I'm worried about.

Gibbs: You said you were looking for a project. Go find her.
Senior: You serious?
Gibbs: You got something better to do?

Tony: My father brought a straight off the street bag lady into my apartment, rusty old shopping cart and all. And dad said that it was your idea, Gibbs?
Gibbs: I'm glad he found her.

Vance: Well, at this point we can't charge either one of them. Whoever we brought to trial...her defense would be that the other one did it.
Gibbs: I agree with you. There's so much reasonable doubt, a jury could never convict.

You want to know what I got? I got this room. This sad, little borrowed room. It's mine. So, I'm telling you to get out.


Davis: How long were planning on sitting out there?
Gibbs: Probably sleep better out there than I did last night.
Davis: Why, insomnia?
Gibbs: No. Couch is old and the spring popped through. Kept me up.
Davis: What you doing on the couch? Wife got you in the doghouse?
Gibbs: No, it's nothing like that. The bedroom was ours, you know? And, well she passed away.
Davis: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.