Vance: Blackmail Bayar to help us, DIA is none the wiser. That's the plan?
Gibbs: Yeah. You got a better one, Leon?
Vance: Word of advice, don't get caught.

Gibbs: Did you write that?
Luke: Yes!
Gibbs: You want to finish it before I show it to them?
Luke: Who?
Gibbs: Your parents. What's wrong? It's for them, isn't it? You did everything you're supposed to. Disowned everyone who isn't the calling? It's what Samar wants, right?
Luke: Please don't show it to them.
Gibbs: Oh no, it's already been decided.
Luke: Don't....DON'T!
Gibbs: Hey! You said you wanted to die. What would your parents think if they heard that? You broke their hearts.
Luke: The kids at school hate me. They kept telling me to go back to Iraq. I don't know what to do anymore.
Gibbs: You talk to me. Where is Samar?
Luke: If I tell you what I know, will you take me to see my parents?
Gibbs: Yeah.

Gibbs: What are those?
Palmer: Neck tissue samples. If any residue was left behind it may help in identifying the weapon. I was just about to take it over to Abby.
Gibbs: And still you are here? [Palmer rushes to leave] Palmer. Thank you.

McGee: Gorney, need a towel or a fan over there?
Ned: You try navigating this gauntlet, Timmy boy. Feels like I just spent hours running through catacombs to kill a dragon-priest only to step outside and have another dragon riding right on my tail.
McGee: It's an obscure Skyrim reference boss that actually makes perfect sense.
Gibbs: Thank you elf-lord. What did you find, dragon-priest?

Jake: The only thing I haven't been letting you do, Gibbs, is over-riding NSA jurisdiction. And we're under no legal obligation to explain why.
Gibbs: Do you want my opinion? Your job sucks.
Vance: Gibbs....
Gibbs: The longer we go before checking Korkmaz's computer, the better chance we have the killer gets away.
Jake: Okay then. Go ahead. NSA surrenders access.
Vance: Excuse me, did you just say.....
Jake: I'll clear it upstairs. Any repercussions....I'll take the hit.

Gibbs: Drop the bag. Just put it down. Put it down. That's it. Brad, look at me. You're a good kid.
Brad: No I'm not. [He detonates the bomb]

Vance: We need to coordinate transport for Qasim.
Gibbs: Excuse me?
Vance: These are orders from the State Department. Gibbs it's out of my hands.
Gibbs: What - the United States now cowers to terrorist demands?
Vance: I don't like it any more than you do, but a Marine's life is on the line.
Gibbs: So is Qasim's.

Bishop: What is it you expect me to do? Take down a whole village of insurgents on my own? That's not me. I'm an analyst.
Gibbs: I thought you were a field agent.
Bishop: Gibbs, whatever lesson you're trying to teach me is going to get Qasim and Corporal Collins killed. My job is in there, not out there.
Gibbs: Your job, Bishop, is to do what I tell you to do. You can do this.
Bishop: Don't put me in a position I'm not trained for.
Gibbs: Training's not the problem - you are. I told you, I got your back. Stop hiding behind things that are familiar, Bishop. You're better than that. The answers you want, Bishop - they're out there.

Qasim: Agent Gibbs, please pass along my gratitude to the other agents for capturing Landis' killer.
Gibbs: I'm not your messenger. Do it yourself. Come on - chop chop. Let's go. Hustle up.
Qasim: I don't understand.
Bishop: We put a call into the Secretary of the Navy. It took some convincing but after reading over fifty U.S. Marine statements on your behalf, she endorsed your special immigrant visa application. You're coming with us.
Qasim: To the United States to live?
Gibbs: Don't go getting all excited just yet.
Bishop: You'll be required to work at a translation post in D.C. while your visa's being processed. It's not negotiable.
Qasim: Where will I be found?
Gibbs: NCIS
Qasim: I believe I can manage that.

Zoe: Should I go home, change first?
Tony: I see no reason to do that. I think you look exquisite.
Zoe: Thank you. I just want everything to go perfectly. To tell you the truth I'm a nervous wreck. I think I've seen Meet the Parents way too many times.
Tony: Well I can assure you my father is nothing like Robert DeNiro.
Gibbs: Come on, come on. Get to work.
Tony: Gibbs on the other hand...

McGee: Okay you're telling me that Ziva knew too?
Vance: Agent McGee, your ego is not the subject of this briefing.

Palmer: I told Tony that you wanted to speak to Agent Gibbs, not that Gibbs ever actually speaks. After "what do you got, doc?" all I get is angry glare.
Tony: Hey Palmer.
Gibbs: Angry glare.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.