How did Cinderella finish her dress so fast? Birds and squirrels, yeah that's not gonna work.

Leslie: Ron, I'm going to need you to walk me down the aisle.
Ron: It would be an honor. And the first time I won't regret walking down the aisle.

Leslie: But my mom isn't here. And you parents aren't here.
Ben: Good!

No one achieves anything alone.

Oh, no! Pawnee has been hit with a Tornado Quake!

Leslie: It is with a heavy heart that I say: we have been Jammed.

Well, this simulated disaster is a total disaster.

Damnit, Jamm. I should have had animal control kill you.

If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it? I hope so! Because the only way that this gala is going to happen is if you do everything I say.

My God. I have driven Ann right into the belly of the douche.

Ann: This guy went to Harvard.
Leslie: So did the Unabomber!

You are so brilliant and kind and stupid-hot!

Parks & Rec Quotes

History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.

Ron

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron