What did you put in this sugar? It's so good!

We're overrun with raccoons and obese toddlers.

Leslie: It is nice to see you again.
Ben: Are you talking to my butt?
Leslie: Yes.

Ben: Where did you get a Washington Monument figurine at midnight on a Tuesday?
Leslie: From my office - I have like 50 of them.

Ben: Why are you laughing?
Leslie: Because my dream is dead.

Your ambiguous ethnic blend perfectly represents the dream of
the American melting pot.

We brought a sorry for your loss fruit basket for Bobby. And
it is very classy -- no melons and no apples.

My official statement is that is, overall, a bummer.

I was in favor of closing the Borders bookstore, not the border to Mexico.

Nothing gets me more amped than Sarah Machlachlan.

Jennifer: I swear the air in this town is killing my brain cells."
Leslie: The water isn't good for you either, you shouldn't drink the tap water.

I've gotten to know the city councilmen pretty well because of my campaign. If you hear them talking about that blonde pain in the ass, that's me.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Last week I was in clue in the Pawnee paper crossword puzzle. The clue? "Who's the worst?"

Leslie

Was it Putin? Voldemort Putin? Of Russia?

Andy