I am big enough to admit I am often inspired by myself.

Ron: Take this compass. All great adventurers need one.
Leslie: As far as all this firing stuff goes...I will not forget and I will never forgive you.

What did you put in this sugar? It's so good!

We're overrun with raccoons and obese toddlers.

Leslie: It is nice to see you again.
Ben: Are you talking to my butt?
Leslie: Yes.

Ben: Where did you get a Washington Monument figurine at midnight on a Tuesday?
Leslie: From my office - I have like 50 of them.

Ben: Why are you laughing?
Leslie: Because my dream is dead.

Your ambiguous ethnic blend perfectly represents the dream of
the American melting pot.

We brought a sorry for your loss fruit basket for Bobby. And
it is very classy -- no melons and no apples.

My official statement is that is, overall, a bummer.

I was in favor of closing the Borders bookstore, not the border to Mexico.

Nothing gets me more amped than Sarah Machlachlan.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.

Look, Tammy and I don't work. We are oil and water. Or oil and TNT and C4 and a detonator and a butane torch.

Ron