Waiter: Would you like any wine to start?
Leslie: Yes, and I'm gonna be direct and honest with you, I would like a glass of red wine and I'll take the cheapest one you have because I can't tell the difference.

Ron: What are you doing here?
Leslie: Running away from my problems.
Ron: Come on in.

Ron: I don't have the material for Smores.
Leslie: You you do, I always emergency smore rations in my car.

Leslie: Oh President Reagan, my blazer popped open.

Ben: Well, Maggy Thatcher, let me help you with that. Our countries have had a very special relationship.

Ben: Show me Pelosi again.

Leslie: Okay, lay down.

Leslie: When I first met you I thought you were a fascist hard ass.

Ben: What?

Ben: Should we talk about how you claimed your mom was a Filipino woman you've never met.

Leslie: Should we?

You know what I should do? I should get my mother a one way ticket to London, leaving today. That way Ben never has to meet her and I could visit her in London. Everybody wins.

Ben: I think at some point you and I should probably make out with each other.

Leslie: Yeah, good call.

Leslie: And you have an officemate, his name is Stewart. And he's kind of a grouch.

Ann: I have an officemate?

Stewart: Get these f-ing balloons out of here.

Leslie: Oh my god I'm so hungover. I've never been this hungover.
Ben: I feel great. I ran 5K this morning.
Leslie: Really?
Ben: No, I threw up in the shower.

Perfect. I'm gonna go see a man about some porcelain, you know what I mean? I'm not buying cocaine. I'm going to the bathroom, the wiz palace as I like to call it.