Ron: I don't have the material for Smores.
Leslie: You you do, I always emergency smore rations in my car.

Leslie: Oh President Reagan, my blazer popped open.

Ben: Well, Maggy Thatcher, let me help you with that. Our countries have had a very special relationship.

Ben: Show me Pelosi again.

Leslie: Okay, lay down.

Leslie: When I first met you I thought you were a fascist hard ass.

Ben: What?

Ben: Should we talk about how you claimed your mom was a Filipino woman you've never met.

Leslie: Should we?

You know what I should do? I should get my mother a one way ticket to London, leaving today. That way Ben never has to meet her and I could visit her in London. Everybody wins.

Ben: I think at some point you and I should probably make out with each other.

Leslie: Yeah, good call.

Leslie: And you have an officemate, his name is Stewart. And he's kind of a grouch.

Ann: I have an officemate?

Stewart: Get these f-ing balloons out of here.

Leslie: Oh my god I'm so hungover. I've never been this hungover.
Ben: I feel great. I ran 5K this morning.
Leslie: Really?
Ben: No, I threw up in the shower.

Perfect. I'm gonna go see a man about some porcelain, you know what I mean? I'm not buying cocaine. I'm going to the bathroom, the wiz palace as I like to call it.

The raccoon problem is under control. They have their part of the town and we have ours.

And so as you can see Pawnee has 12 beautiful baseball diamonds. And our seats have extra cushions due to the massive size of our average citizen.


Parks & Rec Quotes

History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.

Ron

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron