Their bathmats are amazing it's like stepping on a lamb.

Leslie: Ann, everything you have is too sexy. This is actually the dress Julia Roberts wore as prostitute in Pretty Woman.

Ann: I know I look really good in it.

Ann: Also, I can talk about my qualifications for this position, but first I am gonna go throw up in a waste basket.

Leslie: Would you mind if I joined you?

Ann: Not at all.

Leslie: John Ralphio!

John: Yes, I'm here.

Leslie: Dance up on me.

And let's be honest, it would be nice to not have to pull strange things out of people's butts every night.

Leslie: Do you remember what you said to me five years ago when Eagleton offered me that job and I asked you for your advice?
Ron: Do whatever the hell you want. What do I care?
Leslie: Right, but then after, when I pressed you, what did you say?
Ron: I believe I said that I thought we worked well together, and that I might disagree with your philosophy but I respected you. And I said that you'll get a lot of job offers in your life but you only have one hometown.
Leslie: Yes, that's how I remember it.

The only thing I'm guilty of is loving Pawnee. And punching Lindsay in the face and shoving a coffee filter down her pants.

I doth proclaim to be a stupid fart face.

Fixed her "deviated septum" and lost 35 pounds. And lost something else... what was it again? Oh yeah, her soul.

Ron refuses to tell anyone when his birthday is. He's even had it redacted on all government documents.

Public Art Commission. Filled with hippies who love public art and sometimes weed. Jackpot.

That painting is not gonna be destroyed. Every great work of art contains a message. And the message of this painting is get out of my way unless you want an arrow in your ass Marsha.

Parks & Rec Quotes

April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.

Andy

Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.

Ron