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Parks-and-recreation

Leslie: And I am submitting this: A brief history of everything that has ever happened since Pawnee was founded. Not like you get extra credit for this, but I did type it from memory and for the first time ever compiled, it includes a complete list of every official town slogan we've ever had

Ben: I got you some waffles here courtesy of J.J.'s Diner. And chicken soup courtesy of me.
Leslie: I'll take the waffles.

Was I wearing a tiara when I came in here? Because if you happen upon it, would you have Lady Pennyface retrieve it and send it post-hence?

Leslie: That's a very good question, sir. And I would counter with my own question, which is: Why is half of your face all swirly?

Leslie: Oh, boy. Hold on. Be careful.
Ben: What?
Leslie: The floor and the wall just switched. Walk very carefully.

I'm not sure. I looked at the meter and it had Egyptian hieroglyphics on it. Do you know the exchange rate?

OK, so let's, um, talk about your opening remarks. Do you want me to write you a rap? I'll write you a rap. No, you know what? You'll never be able to pull it off. You're too white. How about a show tune or something?

It's not that I don't trust Ben. It's that I don't have faith in Ben. And also I'm starting to forget who Ben is.

Leslie: If I was sick, could I do this?
Ann: What are you doing?
Leslie: Cartwheels. Am I not doing them?
Ann: No.

Ann's my doctor. And she's the most beautiful nurse in the world.

I took a Claritin and I threw that up. So I took another one. I threw that up. And then I took a third and it stayed down. I'm getting better.

Jerry: Leslie, you look tired and you're all sweaty.
Leslie: You look tired and you're all sweaty all the time. What's your excuse. You wanna go there, Jerry?
Jerry: No.

Displaying quotes 229 - 240 of 518 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

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