Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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Leslie: The first line, by the way: Oh captain, my captain. Ron Swanson, a swan song. Yeah. It gets better from there!

Marcie: Hmm, you seem to have a $40 late fee on a book called Mysteries of the Female Orgasm!
Leslie: No I don't!

Wow, that family looks so healthy. Look at them, they're all wearing vests.

You look like Encyclopedia Brown

Well, frankly I would love to hit that. But Ann's being a little weird about it.

Ann: Hey, how's the date going?
Leslie: Good, we just finished the MRI.

Chris: Did you ever break your arm? You can answer that. Here, I'll turn it off.
Leslie: One time I was on my bike and some boys were making fun of me, so I chased them and I lost control. I'm surprised you can see that. It was like three years ago.
Chris: Can't believe I turned the machine off for that.

Leslie: Wait. How's he gonna know it's me? I'll wear a red rose in my hair. No, I'll wear a giant red hat. No, I don't have one of those. What should I wear? It's gotta be red.
Ann: I will just tell him what you look like.

Leslie: So what is your specialty? Is it locking up the bad guys or keeping them on the street?
Justin: Uh, neither. Civil litigation mostly.

I'm back on the horse, and this horse is a lawyer so I'm looking forward to riding him.

Just one rule, I don't want to date a twin because I've been tricked before

[My ideal man] has the brains of George Clooney and the body of Joe Biden.

Displaying quotes 349 - 360 of 518 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.