Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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Leslie: The first line, by the way: Oh captain, my captain. Ron Swanson, a swan song. Yeah. It gets better from there!

Marcie: Hmm, you seem to have a $40 late fee on a book called Mysteries of the Female Orgasm!
Leslie: No I don't!

Wow, that family looks so healthy. Look at them, they're all wearing vests.

You look like Encyclopedia Brown

Well, frankly I would love to hit that. But Ann's being a little weird about it.

Ann: Hey, how's the date going?
Leslie: Good, we just finished the MRI.

Chris: Did you ever break your arm? You can answer that. Here, I'll turn it off.
Leslie: One time I was on my bike and some boys were making fun of me, so I chased them and I lost control. I'm surprised you can see that. It was like three years ago.
Chris: Can't believe I turned the machine off for that.

Leslie: Wait. How's he gonna know it's me? I'll wear a red rose in my hair. No, I'll wear a giant red hat. No, I don't have one of those. What should I wear? It's gotta be red.
Ann: I will just tell him what you look like.

Leslie: So what is your specialty? Is it locking up the bad guys or keeping them on the street?
Justin: Uh, neither. Civil litigation mostly.

I'm back on the horse, and this horse is a lawyer so I'm looking forward to riding him.

Just one rule, I don't want to date a twin because I've been tricked before

[My ideal man] has the brains of George Clooney and the body of Joe Biden.

Displaying quotes 349 - 360 of 518 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.

Ron