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It's the biggest catalog of the year. Think of the September issue of Vogue, but it's more important to Pawnee. Mainly because we don't get Vogue here.

Leslie: What was that song you played at the swearing in ceremony?
Ben: "Whoop, There It Is."
Leslie: Yes. God, I was so jealous of you.

Leslie: I'm here to speak to Ben, actually.
Chris: Great, I'm going to listen to some ocean sounds and do some pull-ups.

Leslie: Wow, you have a lot of bottles there.
Chris: Oh yeah, would you like a vitamin? B12? Evening Primrose Oil? Willa Bar? Magnesium?
Leslie: No thank you.
Chris: Sure? They're good for hangovers.
Leslie: OK, I'll take one.

You know what's thirsty? You know what's weird? How thirsty I get when I'm weird. When I'm drunk.

Leslie: Well, but Chris said that you just had to, you know, tinker with things.
Ben: Yeah he said that because that sounds a lot better than, "We're going to gut it with a machete."

Chris is the most positive state budget auditing consultant I've ever met. I mean, I made eye contact with him and it was like staring into the sun.

Jerry, we don't know that. Maybe these people are very helpful and pleasant and-aah! Death!

Ron: Leslie, what do we do when we get this angry?
Leslie: We count backwards from 1,000 by sevens and we think of warm brownies.

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