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Parks-and-recreation

Ron: Leslie, what do we do when we get this angry?
Leslie: We count backwards from 1,000 by sevens and we think of warm brownies.

Yeah, you're right. I'm not going to fight them-except that I am!

Paul: We are postponing all planning and spending decisions indefinitely.
Leslie: Um, until when?
Paul: Indefinitely.
Leslie: And when will that end?
Paul: Later than now.
Leslie: So this week, probably?

The yearly budget and planning proposal for our city is called The Master Plan. Isn't that just so awesome you can't stand it? I shall now reveal to you my master plan! Muahahahah ee ahahahah. Ugh, kind of sounded like a chimp there in the end.

Tom: Do not miss tonight's April Ludgate birthday bash. 9 o'clock p.m. At the world famous Snakehole Lounge. The place the Pawnee Journal has called, "The sexiest, most dangerous club in town."
Leslie: That's not what they wrote.
Tom: Fine. I added the word sexiest. But, we've hired better security.

I just got to tell you I'm a little tired, so I may have parked on your front lawn.

Hey, Mark. It's Leslie. Change of plans. Can you call me back? Tom, get here. Call me. Bye. Hey, Leslie. It's Leslie. Hang in there. I love you. Bye.

Or get your tissues out if you're like me and think handkerchiefs are gross.

Ron: I suffer from a disorder called Sleep Fighting.
Leslie: Wow, must be terrible.
Ron: Only when I'm losing.

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