Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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That is the problem. Tom always seems like "Mr. Slick Too Cool Guy," but he's actually hiding his emotions underneath a very thick layer of Axe body spray.

I did a little research, and divorce is the number two most stressful event in a person's life. Of course marriage is number seven. So, watch out everyone. It's all bad.

I've seen you look at her ass when she leaves the room. You love her.

Tom: Honestly, it's fine. It lasted longer than Avril Lavigne and the guy from Sum 41, am I right?
Leslie: I don't know what those are.

They put a popcorn machine up there just to brighten things up, but they used the wrong kind of oil and a bunch of people had to get their throats replaced.

Leslie: Look, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you.
Ron: Sure, how about you shoot me in the head. Oh wait, you already did that.

Tom: Man is the most dangerous game.
Donna: To the Predator.
Tom: I did smell something out there. And it wasn't human.
Leslie: That was pine trees.
Donna: The Predator can see heat.
Tom: We should cover ourselves in mud. It could still be out there.

Tom: Maybe Ron shot himself.
Leslie: Mmm, he has seemed really depressed lately.
Mark: He was shot in the back of the head.
Leslie: You're right. He loves the back of his head. He would never shoot himself there.

When you're out with the boys you've gotta be ready for a good pantsing. That's why I have suspenders that connect my bra to my jeans.

Leslie: Ann, you ready to bag some birds?
Ann: Nope. But I am ready to relax by the fire and get my real simple magazine on.
Leslie: Well if you change your mind, you're now officially a licensed Indiana hunter.
Ann: Oh, gross.

Leslie: You're literally listening to turkey calls.
Ron: Is this-is this not rap?
Leslie: Come on.

Ron, let's cut the bull. I want me, Tom and all the other ladies included on your hunting trip.

Displaying quotes 385 - 396 of 518 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.