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Ann: Man, this is tough.
Leslie: Yeah, but just think of all the kids that'll swing on this swing. Fat kids, skinny kids, brainiacs, sluts, the gay drama kids, goths, jocks, the alternative crowd.
Ann: Mmm hmm.

Well, we're here in Eagleton. It's two towns over. And we're all volunteering for KaBOOM!, a service organization that says it builds a playground in a day. I never trust anything that comes that quickly. That's why I don't eat minute rice.

Tom: So, what does the Man Pillow look like?
Leslie: Daniel Craig. It's for my lower back.

Credit Card Rep: $20 to Netflix.
Leslie: Yup.
Credit Card Rep: $20 to Blockbuster Online.
Tom: Both?
Leslie: I needed all 11 discs of Gossip Girl at the same time.

I am gonna build that park myself. And it is gonna be awesome. And it's not gonna have a fountain shaped like Hugo Chavez's head spitting water all over everyone. Unless that's what the people want.

Leslie: Let's look at the pros and cons.
Ann: Pro, we can fill in the pit and build a park.
Leslie: Con, we might be filling it in with dirty money.
Tom: Pro, $35,000 worth of dirty money.
Leslie: Con, not quite sure why that's a pro.
Mark: We can fill in the pit.
Leslie: Con, Ann already said that. Pro and con never works.
Tom: Pro, yes it does.

Leslie: I'm gonna return the money.
Tom: Are you crazy? You could buy a low-end Lexus with that money.
Ann: Or you could build a park with that money.

Raul: No wonder nothing ever gets done in this country.
Leslie: Really? Nothing gets done. Tell that to the Golden Gate Bridge. Or American Idol. Or the moon. Oh wait, you can't because you've never been there.

Leslie: Well, in a true democracy we believe that the input of our citizens is extremely valuable.
Lawrence: Hey, these pretzels suck.
Leslie: Thank you. See?

Great, well we don't have Lady Gaga. And I don't think she's going to come here unless her career takes a very bad turn.

Raul: We get 14,000 channels. Fourteen thousand. I already know who wins Project Runway.
Leslie: Wow, I'm coming over to your house then.
Raul: I see what you're getting at, but no thank you. I am still primarily interested in the large, black woman.

We'll take them to Chicago and pretend it's part of Pawnee. Or New York. Or London! No, wait, the money's different there. They'll figure it out. OK, nevermind. We'll go to the park.

Displaying quotes 445 - 456 of 518 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April
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