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Leslie: Do you have like a first-date outfit I could borrow? Like, I don't know, a pair of cargo pants?
Ann: Yeah I wouldn't go with the cargo pant.
Leslie: What about like a sexy hat?
Ann: I don't even know what that is.
Leslie: Helping already.

Tom: I think cave sex is insane.
Leslie: Why?
Tom: Because of the echoes and the humidity.

Leslie: And he didn't know who Madeliene Albright was.
Ann: Who?
Leslie: Not you too. Madeline Albright, first female Secreatary of State.
Ann: No, I mean who didn't know?

Leslie: What you doing in these parts?
Dave: Oh, I just, uh, I came by to see the murals. This one is pretty amazing.
Leslie: Yeah, this one's a beauty. You know, in the 1880's, there were a few years that were pretty rough and tumble in Pawnee. This depicts kind of a famous fight between Reverend Bradley and Annabeth Stevenson, a widowed mother of seven. The original title of this was "A Lively Fisting." But y'know, they had to change it for...obvious reasons.
Dave: She's got him by the hair pretty good there.
Leslie: Yeah.

Leslie: I don't think I could date someone doesn't share my interests. Could you date someone who doesn't love giving vaccinations?
Ann: I've never dated anyone who's loved giving vaccinations.

I'm a judge, so I don't want to seem partial, but Trish will win this over my dead body.

I got that tunnel vision that girls get. I let my emotions get the best of me. I cared too much, I guess. I was thinking with my lady parts. I was walking and it felt icky. I thought there was gonna be chocolate. I don't even remember! I'm wearing a new bra, and it closes in the front, so it popped open and it threw me off. All I wanna do is have babies! I'm just going through a thing right now. I guess when my life is incomplete, I wanna just shoot someone. This would not happen if I had a penis! Bitches be crazy. I'm good at tolerating pain; I'm bad at math, and... I'm stupid.

I think this is gonna be a really good bonding experience with Ron. Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.

Anne, I always forget because you're so pretty you're not used to rejection.

I'm really good at hunting and I'm even better at being one of the guys.

Leslie: We have a criminal emergency on our hands. Someone planted a gateway drug in the community garden.
Ron: Call the cops.
Leslie: Then it will leak to the press. Then there will be an investigation, and they'll find my fingerprints on the manure, and then we'll lose our funding.
Ron: You don't have funding.
Leslie: We never will if this gets out.

Leslie: Ron! Did you get my text?
Ron: No.
Leslie: Did you get my email?
Ron: Mmm.
Leslie: Did you see that I paged you?
Ron: I did not.
Leslie: Did you get my voicemail?
Ron: I didn't.

Displaying quotes 469 - 480 of 518 in total

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Parks & Rec Quotes

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April
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