Leslie: I'm gonna return the money.
Tom: Are you crazy? You could buy a low-end Lexus with that money.
Ann: Or you could build a park with that money.

Raul: No wonder nothing ever gets done in this country.
Leslie: Really? Nothing gets done. Tell that to the Golden Gate Bridge. Or American Idol. Or the moon. Oh wait, you can't because you've never been there.

Leslie: Well, in a true democracy we believe that the input of our citizens is extremely valuable.
Lawrence: Hey, these pretzels suck.
Leslie: Thank you. See?

Great, well we don't have Lady Gaga. And I don't think she's going to come here unless her career takes a very bad turn.

Raul: We get 14,000 channels. Fourteen thousand. I already know who wins Project Runway.
Leslie: Wow, I'm coming over to your house then.
Raul: I see what you're getting at, but no thank you. I am still primarily interested in the large, black woman.

We'll take them to Chicago and pretend it's part of Pawnee. Or New York. Or London! No, wait, the money's different there. They'll figure it out. OK, nevermind. We'll go to the park.

Leslie: Look, I know these guys didn't turn out to be exactly how we thought they would be.
Tom: You said they might not know what toilet paper is.
Leslie: I'm calling inaudible.

That's why people respect Hillary Clinton so much. 'Cause nobody takes a punch like her. She's the strongest, smartest punching bag in the world.

Leslie: What kind of birds do you guys eat?
Raul: Chickens.
Leslie: Us too. Amazing.

I am deputy director of parks and recreation and chairwoman of the departmental adhoc subcommittee for pit beautification, Leslie Knope.

I had to drop the rock and roll bowling alley from our itinerary. That was one of the most difficult phone calls I've ever had to make.

Also, remember everyone. Venezuela is a poor country. These men are not used to the wealth and flash that we have here in central Indiana.