Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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The thing about youth culture is that I don't understand it.

Leslie: Just to be clear, that was a friend punch. There was no flirtatious meaning behind that punch I just gave your arm.
Mark: I do understand. You've made it abundantly clear that there is absolutely no romantic element to our relationship.

Ron: Leslie. Some guy who owns a gay bar sent you a cake.
Leslie: Pawnee has a gay bar?
Ron: The Bulge. It's behind my house.
Leslie: The Bulge is a gay bar? The nights I've wasted there ...

Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.

Leslie: They thought that was a political gesture? No one eat that. Tom, step into my office.
Tom: It's also my office.
Leslie: Whatever.

People in this town don't really like their government officials being activists. Last year a garbageman was suspended for wearing a Livestrong bracelet.

Chimpanzees are very smart, so we had them graduate from college. They like to throw their feces, so we were hoping they would throw their hats. But they just threw their feces.

Leslie Knope: When I go through these doors, I need to be "on", like the White House Press Secretary. Are you ready?
Tom Haverford: Yes.
Leslie Knope: OK! Here we go! (pulls on the door, looks into the camera) It's locked.

I don't want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.

In a town as old as Pawnee there's a lot of history in every acre. This wooded area is the site of the murder, actually, of Nathanial Bixby Mark. He was a pioneer who was killed by a tribe of Wamapoke Indians. He traded them a baby for the city that is now Indianapolis. They cut his face off and made it into a dreamcatcher. And they made his legs into rainsticks. That's the great thing about Indians, back then, is they used every part of the pioneer.

Ron: I like your hairdo, Leslie.
Leslie: Thank you, Ron.
Ron: It's just like my brother's. He's an officer in the Air Force.

Leslie: Tom Haverford. Boy genius. Smooth like milk chocolate.
Tom: That's kind of a weird way to describe me.

Displaying quotes 493 - 504 of 518 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

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